Rubbing British Groins! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

cchris · 10-29-2003, 04:44 AM

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

Well" he explained, "By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen."

On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself, "I'll go one better than that English bastard" and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.

When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well," he explained, "By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen."

On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself, "I'll go one further than those mainland bastards" and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.

When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well," he explained, "by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..."

GuttersnipeXL · 10-29-2003, 06:44 AM

Hadn't heard thatone before...I like it!

Gortexfogg · 10-29-2003, 07:33 AM

Hahahaha, good one!

PeterPuppy · 10-29-2003, 08:40 AM

nice one to tell my mates at work. thanks!

weasel519 · 10-29-2003, 12:38 PM

That's defintely one of the funniest things i've ever read!

majik_6 · 10-29-2003, 10:42 PM

That's just wrong!!

...and that's why it's going into my personal collection of jokes to tell aaallll my friends!

Doesn't Matter · 10-29-2003, 11:32 PM

KellyC · 10-30-2003, 12:20 AM

holy shit....that so funny..can't stop for breath...LOL!!

Keg-o-Grog · 10-30-2003, 03:23 AM

fuuun

Tarn · 10-30-2003, 07:34 AM

hahahahaaa.....

thejoker130 · 10-30-2003, 08:13 AM

LOL YAY IRISH!!!

Disco Stu · 10-31-2003, 01:08 PM

lol. leave it to the irishman to out-do everyone else. thats funny shit! thanks man

bennyb · 10-31-2003, 08:58 PM

Hehehehehehhheheheheheh D:

bluearmy · 11-01-2003, 04:46 AM

Had to laugh at that one.

gloveshot3 · 11-01-2003, 06:07 AM

i didn't know Irish men had enough dick to mastrubate with

copymachineboy · 11-01-2003, 10:40 AM

bwaa hahahahahaha. That's fucking great!

sic8 · 11-01-2003, 10:48 AM

Stare At The Sun · 11-02-2003, 02:12 PM

Very good joke! Thanks for posting, got 5/5 for me

Chuckles · 11-02-2003, 05:07 PM

that was fckin hilarious hahahaha

mjby2 · 11-02-2003, 11:18 PM

Great!

zaiaz · 11-04-2003, 06:39 AM

Now that's just totally wrong....funny...but wrong.

Eviltree · 12-01-2003, 06:49 PM

nice. Good joke there

Evil Milkman · 12-01-2003, 09:05 PM

Good one!

oblar · 12-01-2003, 09:55 PM

gotta love any joke that involves masturbation

greenboy3 · 12-02-2003, 12:42 AM

Thats one I actually haven't heard. Thanks for sharing.

slimshaydee · 12-02-2003, 03:02 AM

HAHAHAHAHA That one is so funny! It's fitting that it's been posted on this board aswell

Miserlou · 12-02-2003, 10:26 PM

That's great! Now I'm gonna go find something that gives me great pleasure....

bravo49 · 12-03-2003, 02:18 AM

Never saw the punch line coming

GremlinDelirium · 12-07-2003, 05:03 PM

lol!!!!...... *pause* wait... thats kinda gross..... Ah well, thats damn funny!

Nation · 12-07-2003, 06:33 PM

Heh heh, nothing like the ole "three people of various backgrounds" jokes!

sartan · 12-25-2003, 07:23 PM

lol Nice one

manalone · 12-26-2003, 08:04 AM

no Irish man in the world says "mainland bastards" Ireland is the mainland. the word you are looking for is "Brit bastards"

MexicanOnABike · 01-04-2004, 09:24 AM

thats freaking great! heheheh!

Kllr Wolf · 01-05-2004, 12:35 AM

turely hilaroius. will have to remember that one

chrisg299 · 01-05-2004, 03:28 PM

haha dirty

i like it lol

aarchaon · 03-18-2004, 05:26 AM

Hahaha thats a good one.

deportes · 03-18-2004, 09:00 PM

great one.thanks

10-29-2003, 04:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Rubbing British Groins! An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing. Well" he explained, "By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen." On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself, "I'll go one better than that English bastard" and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well," he explained, "By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen." On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself, "I'll go one further than those mainland bastards" and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously. When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well," he explained, "by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..." __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

10-29-2003, 06:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
GuttersnipeXL Giggity Giggity!! Location: N'York	Hadn't heard thatone before...I like it! __________________ When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST

10-29-2003, 10:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
majik_6 narcissist Location: looking in a mirror	That's just wrong!! ...and that's why it's going into my personal collection of jokes to tell aaallll my friends! __________________ it's all about self-indulgence

10-30-2003, 12:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	holy shit....that so funny..can't stop for breath...LOL!! __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

10-30-2003, 03:23 AM	#9 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog Insane Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.	fuuun __________________ I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

10-29-2003, 07:33 AM	#3 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	Hahahaha, good one!

10-29-2003, 08:40 AM	#4 (permalink)
PeterPuppy Upright	nice one to tell my mates at work. thanks!

10-29-2003, 12:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
weasel519 Upright	That's defintely one of the funniest things i've ever read!

10-29-2003, 11:32 PM	#7 (permalink)
Doesn't Matter Banned	LOL

10-30-2003, 07:34 AM	#10 (permalink)
Tarn Crazy	hahahahaaa.....

10-30-2003, 08:13 AM	#11 (permalink)
thejoker130 Insane Location: slippery rock university AKA: The left ass cheek of the world	LOL YAY IRISH!!! __________________ WHAT MORE CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN? ------------------------------------- I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless.

10-31-2003, 01:08 PM	#12 (permalink)
Disco Stu Psycho Location: Springfield, USA	lol. leave it to the irishman to out-do everyone else. thats funny shit! thanks man

10-31-2003, 08:58 PM	#13 (permalink)
bennyb Banned	Hehehehehehhheheheheheh D:

11-01-2003, 04:46 AM	#14 (permalink)
bluearmy Insane Location: uk	Had to laugh at that one.

11-01-2003, 06:07 AM	#15 (permalink)
gloveshot3 Crazy	i didn't know Irish men had enough dick to mastrubate with

11-02-2003, 11:18 PM	#20 (permalink)
mjby2 Crazy	Great!

11-04-2003, 06:39 AM	#21 (permalink)
zaiaz Psycho Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.	Now that's just totally wrong....funny...but wrong. __________________ Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

12-01-2003, 09:05 PM	#23 (permalink)
Evil Milkman Addict Location: Illinois	Good one!

12-01-2003, 09:55 PM	#24 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	gotta love any joke that involves masturbation __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

11-01-2003, 10:40 AM	#16 (permalink)
copymachineboy Tilted Location: Sea. \| Wa.	bwaa hahahahahaha. That's fucking great! __________________ Kenny: "He rode that pole all the way to the end!!" Vic: "Thats the only way to ride pole, Ken. All the way to the end." -MXC Announcers

11-02-2003, 02:12 PM	#18 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	Very good joke! Thanks for posting, got 5/5 for me

11-02-2003, 05:07 PM	#19 (permalink)
Chuckles Insane Location: California	that was fckin hilarious hahahaha

12-01-2003, 06:49 PM	#22 (permalink)
Eviltree Psycho Location: British Columbia	nice. Good joke there

12-02-2003, 12:42 AM	#25 (permalink)
greenboy3 Crazy	Thats one I actually haven't heard. Thanks for sharing.

12-02-2003, 03:02 AM	#26 (permalink)
slimshaydee If you've read this, PM me and say so Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?	HAHAHAHAHA That one is so funny! It's fitting that it's been posted on this board aswell

12-02-2003, 10:26 PM	#27 (permalink)
Miserlou Insane	That's great! Now I'm gonna go find something that gives me great pleasure.... __________________ "Oh, these pies arn't homeade. They're from a factory............a bomb factory.................they're bombs."

12-03-2003, 02:18 AM	#28 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	Never saw the punch line coming

12-07-2003, 05:03 PM	#29 (permalink)
GremlinDelirium Insane Location: Pullman, WA	lol!!!!...... pause wait... thats kinda gross..... Ah well, thats damn funny! __________________ Go Cougs! ~WSU~

12-07-2003, 06:33 PM	#30 (permalink)
Nation Insane	Heh heh, nothing like the ole "three people of various backgrounds" jokes!

12-25-2003, 07:23 PM	#31 (permalink)
sartan Tilted	lol Nice one

12-26-2003, 08:04 AM	#32 (permalink)
manalone Once upon a time...	no Irish man in the world says "mainland bastards" Ireland is the mainland. the word you are looking for is "Brit bastards" __________________ -- Man Alone ======= Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary.

01-04-2004, 09:24 AM	#33 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	thats freaking great! heheheh! __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

01-05-2004, 12:35 AM	#34 (permalink)
Kllr Wolf Psycho Location: Lubbock, TX	turely hilaroius. will have to remember that one __________________ Caffeine - the molecule of life.

01-05-2004, 03:28 PM	#35 (permalink)
chrisg299 Tilted	haha dirty i like it lol

03-18-2004, 05:26 AM	#36 (permalink)
aarchaon Insane	Hahaha thats a good one. __________________ Green. Yellow. Blue.

03-18-2004, 09:00 PM	#37 (permalink)
deportes Psycho	great one.thanks