KeyserSoze

http://www.digiserve.com/eescape/clo...Taco-Bell.html


On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting pissed at me.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
Clerk: "Is that it?"
Me: "Yep."
Clerk: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
Me: "No, it's to go." [I hate effort duplication.]

At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and says,

Clerk: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them.

Clerk: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Clerk: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else, there's no such thing as a $2 bill."
Clerk: "Yeah, thought so."

He comes back to me and says,

Clerk: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
Clerk: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Clerk: "Yeah."
Me: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
Clerk: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift, and

Clerk: "He says I have to take it."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Clerk: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
Clerk: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Clerk: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Clerk: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says,

Manager: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night."
[It was 8:00pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well-lighted indoor mall with a hundred other stores.]
Me: "Well, here's a two."
Manager: "We don't take those either."
Me: "Why the hell not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really, tell me, why?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What the hell for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine, have it your way then."
Me: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later, this 45-year-oldish guy comes in and says at the other end of counter, in a whisper:

Security Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
Guard: "Really? What?"
Manager: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
Manager: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "So, the fifty's fake?"
Manager: "No, the $2 is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Guard: "Yeah..."

Security guard walks over to me and says

Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I was ready to say, "sure, please," but I wanted to eat, so I said,

Me: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says

Guard: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two-dollar bill."
Guard: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food...


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Oh...this is not my story, I found it online thats why there is a link

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THERE IS NO KEYSER SOZE!!

spived2

LOL i know quite a few people who didn't even know there was a $2 dollar bill as well. I'm going to have to try that myself with a stack of em.

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"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V

Craven Morehead

great story, you'll be telling this one for years

phredgreen

*moved to tilted humour*

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NatureBoy

that's great. I never had a problem with 2 dollar bills, but they are so rare anymore that younger folk might not recognize.

iktoweya

good stuff

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i miss K-Wise

Keg-o-Grog

harr

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petergriffin24

that is friggin great what morons there are out there