Jesus and Satan - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Liquor Dealer · 10-23-2003, 07:41 AM

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports
They sent faxes.
They sent e-mail.
They sent out e-mail with attachments
They downloaded.
They did some genealogy reports.
They made cards
They did every known job.

But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed in every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours.

Satan observed this and became even more irate."Wait! He cheated How did he
do it??!!

(You'll love the punch line....)
God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves."

iktoweya · 10-23-2003, 08:29 AM

petergriffin24 · 10-23-2003, 10:16 AM

HAHA Pun intended nice post thanks for the laugh

vulture · 10-24-2003, 01:39 PM

That was great! thanks!

corporatex · 10-24-2003, 05:09 PM

funny

Tarn · 10-25-2003, 03:12 PM

ooohh man that is gold ... gonna tell it to my friends

lordjeebus · 10-25-2003, 03:22 PM

Saw it coming, but nice! I like God/Jesus/Satan jokes in general.

The_Dude · 10-25-2003, 07:21 PM

hahhaa, that's so freakin funny!

skysooner · 10-25-2003, 08:06 PM

I'm ROFL. That was great.

sbscout · 10-25-2003, 09:05 PM

I saw it coming, but I still laughed out loud!

Thanks!

Latch · 10-27-2003, 04:32 AM

Saw it as well.. but still good.

Esoteric · 10-27-2003, 03:15 PM

Lol, good one.

majik_6 · 10-27-2003, 04:13 PM

That was a good one.

I didn't see the punchline coming, but then I thought "I should have seen that coming!" It gets me laughing everytime I think about it.

TerresqueÜ · 10-27-2003, 05:06 PM

*angry smile*

SAM821 · 10-27-2003, 05:18 PM

Awsome!

riptide4070 · 10-27-2003, 05:36 PM

Amen!!!!!

nico · 10-29-2003, 12:17 AM

Hah that's pretty good, wasn't expecting it~

bravo49 · 10-29-2003, 01:41 AM

"Jesus saves" Not on my bloody wages He doesn't

weasel519 · 10-29-2003, 12:39 PM

That's defintely one of the funniest things i've ever read!

Crack · 11-14-2003, 06:52 PM

I had some church people come to my door the other day and asked me if I had found God... I told them that I had, the tricky bastard was hiding behind the couch the whole time, and if they'd excuse me now because it was my turn to hide...

uffjohn · 11-15-2003, 08:19 AM

hehe didn't see that one coming

was fun

SofaKing · 11-15-2003, 02:36 PM

HAHAHA, very funny! Saw it coming but it was worth the read!

10-23-2003, 07:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
Liquor Dealer Super Agitator Location: Just SW of Nowhere!!! In the good old US of A	Jesus and Satan Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards They did every known job. But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed in every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became even more irate."Wait! He cheated How did he do it??!! (You'll love the punch line....) God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves." __________________ Life isn't always a bowl of cherries, sometimes it's more like a jar of Jalapenos --- what you say or do today might burn your ass tomorrow!!!

10-23-2003, 08:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
iktoweya These pretzels are making me thirsty!! Location: 105B	Hehe __________________ i miss K-Wise

10-25-2003, 07:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
The_Dude The GrandDaddy of them all! Location: Austin, TX	hahhaa, that's so freakin funny! __________________ "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

10-25-2003, 09:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
sbscout Disorganized Location: back home again...	I saw it coming, but I still laughed out loud! Thanks! __________________ Always question authority... it'll keep the bastards on their toes!

10-27-2003, 03:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
Esoteric Tired Location: Florida	Lol, good one. __________________ From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

10-23-2003, 10:16 AM	#3 (permalink)
petergriffin24 Insane	HAHA Pun intended nice post thanks for the laugh

10-24-2003, 01:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
vulture Tilted Location: Switzerland	That was great! thanks!

10-24-2003, 05:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
corporatex Loser Location: Vale, South Dakota	funny

10-25-2003, 03:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
Tarn Crazy	ooohh man that is gold ... gonna tell it to my friends

10-25-2003, 03:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
lordjeebus ‚±‚Ìˆó˜U‚ª–Ú‚É“ü‚ç‚Ê‚© Location: College	Saw it coming, but nice! I like God/Jesus/Satan jokes in general.

10-25-2003, 08:06 PM	#9 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	I'm ROFL. That was great.

10-27-2003, 04:32 AM	#11 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	Saw it as well.. but still good.

10-27-2003, 04:13 PM	#13 (permalink)
majik_6 narcissist Location: looking in a mirror	That was a good one. I didn't see the punchline coming, but then I thought "I should have seen that coming!" It gets me laughing everytime I think about it. __________________ it's all about self-indulgence

10-27-2003, 05:06 PM	#14 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	angry smile __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

10-27-2003, 05:18 PM	#15 (permalink)
SAM821 Surviving Hurricanes Location: Miami, Florida	Awsome!

10-27-2003, 05:36 PM	#16 (permalink)
riptide4070 Addict Location: Boone, NC	Amen!!!!! __________________ "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects'

10-29-2003, 12:17 AM	#17 (permalink)
nico Tilted	Hah that's pretty good, wasn't expecting it~

10-29-2003, 01:41 AM	#18 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	"Jesus saves" Not on my bloody wages He doesn't

10-29-2003, 12:39 PM	#19 (permalink)
weasel519 Upright	That's defintely one of the funniest things i've ever read!

11-14-2003, 06:52 PM	#20 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	I had some church people come to my door the other day and asked me if I had found God... I told them that I had, the tricky bastard was hiding behind the couch the whole time, and if they'd excuse me now because it was my turn to hide... __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

11-15-2003, 08:19 AM	#21 (permalink)
uffjohn Crazy	hehe didn't see that one coming was fun

11-15-2003, 02:36 PM	#22 (permalink)
SofaKing Tilted	HAHAHA, very funny! Saw it coming but it was worth the read!