Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-13-2003, 02:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
I am the anomaly.
 
Location: Motown
Kinky Sex

A man and a woman are sitting side by side at a bar getting really wasted. They are both really depressed.
The man asks the woman why she's so down and she replies, "My husband left me because he said I was too kinky in bed."
"What a conicidence!" he said, "My wife just left me. She said I was too kinky in bed too." So they start talking and they find that they have much in common so they decide to go to the woman's apartment and have kinky sex.
When they arrive at her apartment, she tells him she needs a few minutes so she can slip into something more comfortable. She comes out of the bathroom with a tight, black leather outfit with a whip, handcuffs, a strap-on cock, and a 12 inch studded dildo. Then she hurries into the kitchen and comes out with tabasco sauce, whipped cream, and a rolling pin. Then she notices that the man is putting on his coat and is walking towards the door. "What's going on?", she asks. "I thought you wanted to get kinky?" He turns around and says, "I just fucked your dog and shit in your purse. I'm all done."
__________________
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

marcopolo is offline  
Old 10-13-2003, 05:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
Tired
 
Esoteric's Avatar
 
Location: Florida
Haha, funny but messed up.
__________________
From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins
Esoteric is offline  
Old 10-13-2003, 05:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: unfortunately not ireland
Um............?
__________________
I have more respect for a man who says what he means, even if he is wrong, then one who acts like an angel, but is nothing but a devil.
SysteMatiC is offline  
Old 10-13-2003, 05:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
Newlywed
 
sillygirl's Avatar
 
Location: at home
Okay, now I wanna puke. But I'm laughing!
__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...
sillygirl is offline  
Old 10-13-2003, 07:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
HAH this I had to tell out loud at work
__________________
"you say erb....we say herb.....because theres a fucking H in it"
redrum is offline  
Old 10-13-2003, 07:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
Very Proud of Ya
 
Location: Simi Valley, CA
What an interesting fellow....
__________________
Do not speak Latin in front of the books.
TheClarkster is offline  
Old 10-13-2003, 10:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
It wasnt me
 
tekaweni's Avatar
 
Location: Scotland
Oh man, that is so fucked up. heh heh heh excellent.
__________________
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten
tekaweni is offline  
Old 10-14-2003, 04:56 AM   #8 (permalink)
If you've read this, PM me and say so
 
Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?
most unexpected ending ever!
slimshaydee is offline  
Old 10-14-2003, 06:33 AM   #9 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Hehe... never saw that coming...
Gortexfogg is offline  
Old 10-14-2003, 06:33 AM   #10 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: slippery rock university AKA: The left ass cheek of the world

there is a word for guys like that in psycology....spooky....

funny tho, I'll remember that
__________________
WHAT MORE CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?
-------------------------------------
I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless.
thejoker130 is offline  
Old 10-14-2003, 06:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
Insane
 
Eowyn_Vala's Avatar
 
Location: There's no place like home..
funny but disgusting at the same time
__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it
Eowyn_Vala is offline  
Old 10-14-2003, 07:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: your front door...*ding dong*
Heheh thats funny, this is a joke where many endings could be ended.. you should start a post like that with this joke. See who can make the best ending.
Miekle is offline  
Old 10-14-2003, 09:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
Upright
 
right.....
__________________
sig for rent
mrlayance is offline  
Old 10-15-2003, 12:47 AM   #14 (permalink)
Banned
 
lmao
very nice
analog is offline  
Old 10-29-2003, 12:59 PM   #15 (permalink)
Upright
 
haha thats great!
weasel519 is offline  
Old 10-29-2003, 01:36 PM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
Now I have some pretty wicked pictures in my mind.

Still funny though.
__________________
Viking come with peas
tontoom is offline  
Old 10-29-2003, 02:49 PM   #17 (permalink)
Boy am I horny today
 
absorbentishe's Avatar
 
Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
Wow, that was def. not the way I thought that was going. Very good!
absorbentishe is offline  
Old 10-29-2003, 04:49 PM   #18 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Springfield, USA
hahahahaha, thats fuckin great! god thats a keeper. great post!
Disco Stu is offline  
Old 10-29-2003, 05:00 PM   #19 (permalink)
Eh?
 
Stare At The Sun's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Woah twist, lol, very good joke
Stare At The Sun is offline  
Old 10-30-2003, 03:44 AM   #20 (permalink)
Insane
 
Keg-o-Grog's Avatar
 
Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.
dude.. dude :P messed up
__________________
I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

Keg-o-Grog is offline  
Old 10-30-2003, 10:40 PM   #21 (permalink)
Devils Cabana Boy
 
Dilbert1234567's Avatar
 
Location: Central Coast CA
thats bad, and funny to
__________________
Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen
Dilbert1234567 is offline  
Old 11-03-2003, 08:50 PM   #22 (permalink)
Tilted
 
oh thats vile, congragulations on getting me to puke a lung.
SofaKing is offline  
Old 11-04-2003, 12:28 AM   #23 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: In my own little world.
What no kiss goodnight.
psicon is offline  
Old 11-04-2003, 01:33 PM   #24 (permalink)
Curious
 
Shpoop's Avatar
 
Location: NJ (but just for college)
niiiice!
Shpoop is offline  
Old 11-04-2003, 09:33 PM   #25 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Chi-Town
Maxim reader?
__________________
You are what you love, not what loves you.

strife

strife is offline  
Old 11-05-2003, 07:17 PM   #26 (permalink)
Crazy
 
lol, the best ones are like that, you really dont see it comming until the end, great stuff, cheers
Devilchild is offline  
Old 11-05-2003, 07:55 PM   #27 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SabrinaFair's Avatar
 
Location: Louisville, KY
I've heard that before, but it's definetly a good one.
__________________
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata
SabrinaFair is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 06:39 AM   #28 (permalink)
I am the anomaly.
 
Location: Motown
Quote:
Originally posted by strife
Maxim reader?
Yes I am .
__________________
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

marcopolo is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 12:42 PM   #29 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Bit Bucket
hahaha, that was great. So wrong on so many levels, but God that made me laugh.
devnull is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 04:47 PM   #30 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Ever so wrong...
__________________
Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition
TerresqueÜ is offline  
Old 11-09-2003, 07:35 PM   #31 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Thunder Bay
That one is so coming to work with me..
hahah
im stilll giggling
__________________
------------------------
I may be ugly, But at least I aint got no money!
MoNoXiDe_XXX is offline  
Old 12-27-2003, 07:06 PM   #32 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Hmmm funny.
sartan is offline  
Old 12-28-2003, 07:23 PM   #33 (permalink)
Insane
 
LOL! That's pretty damn funny.
Nation is offline  
Old 01-02-2004, 03:20 AM   #34 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Melb - Australia
lol....thats sooooo wrong............. but soooooo funny

Cheers
__________________
--------------------
Cheers
Arachnid is offline  
Old 01-02-2004, 07:29 AM   #35 (permalink)
Disorganized
 
sbscout's Avatar
 
Location: back home again...
gross... but I'm laughing!
__________________
Always question authority... it'll keep the bastards on their toes!
sbscout is offline  
Old 01-02-2004, 10:41 AM   #36 (permalink)
Psycho
 
tommy thompson's Avatar
 
now that was great!
__________________
...a wandering soul...
tommy thompson is offline  
Old 01-03-2004, 01:09 AM   #37 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: The windy city
Very, very funny... I never saw that coming, those are the best kind.
Leeka is offline  
Old 01-03-2004, 08:09 PM   #38 (permalink)
Addict
 
that sounds like a normal friday night for me...
batm4n_23 is offline  
 

Tags
kinky, sex


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:06 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360