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#1 (permalink) |
It wasnt me
Location: Scotland
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Couple of short jokes
A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window.
The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly - "Oh dear," she says, "Not the breathalyser again". -------------- A rather nasty and egotistical man was finally left by his wife, who then re- married someone whom she felt would treat her with more love and kindness. When our nasty hero happened to meet her on the street one day, he couldn't overcome his usual tendencies, and asked her sarcastically, "So, how does that new husband of yours like fucking in used pussy?" "He likes it just fine," she replied, "once he gets past the used part."
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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten |
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#3 (permalink) |
We can't stop here! This is bat country!
Location: SL,UT
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haha
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Brian: “Ok, all we’ve gotta do is find the American Embassy, and they’ll help us get home” Stewie: “Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob, and that insufferable dog… Oh, you’re right here aren’t you? Oh well, I stand by it." |
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#8 (permalink) |
The Ultimate Badass
Location: Tampa
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thinkers joke...
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"The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better. This is all the stuff the Mommy used to tell him. She used to say, "The only frontier you have left is the world of intangibles. Everything else is sewn up too tight." Caged inside too many laws. By intangibles, she meant the Internet, movies, music, stories, art, rumors, computer programs, anything that isn't real. Virtual realities. Make-believe stuff. The culture. The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only the intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die." |
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Tags |
couple, jokes, short |
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