A guy goes to a party one night... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 09-28-2003, 12:20 PM

A guy goes to a party one night, and after a couple of hours, he hears the most amazing piano music being played. He thinks it is the most wonderful music he has ever heard and makes his way over to the pianist.

"I have to say that the music that you are playing is wonderful."

"Thank you very much" says the pianist.

"I've never heard this song before, what is it called?"

"I called it 'I fuck my wife up the ass and come all over her tits'"

"Bloody hell, that's a bit harsh isn't it. I must say though, that I'm having a party in a couple of weeks and would love you to play at it. Perhaps you could just tone down the names of the songs that you will be playing -- my guests wouldn't approve."

"No problem" says the pianist.

Two weeks later the guy is having his party and the pianist is there and he's playing like a donkey, all the wrong keys - it really is the most dreadful music the guy has ever heard.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the guy.

"I'm so sorry, I know I'm playing badly but I really need masturbate."

"Masturbate? You're supposed to be playing the piano - all my guests are here."

"I know but I can't play well until I've had one."

"OK, OK, go into the bathroom, there are some mags in the cupboard and just get back here as soon as you can."

Ten minutes later the pianist comes back from the bathroom, sits down at the piano and starts playing beautifully, just the way he's meant to.

After a little while a lady walks up to him and says: "Excuse me but do you know your cock's hanging out and you've got cum all over your trousers?"

"Know it?" he says, "I wrote it."

Glad

TerresqueÜ · 09-28-2003, 02:29 PM

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

That was great!

thespian86 · 09-28-2003, 03:24 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA GOOD JOKE!

twotimesadingo · 09-28-2003, 04:53 PM

one of the best i've "heard" here lately

Flesh · 09-28-2003, 05:13 PM

TheClarkster · 09-28-2003, 05:16 PM

oh man. what a weird joke, very good though.

Latch · 09-28-2003, 05:50 PM

Long way to go... but great punchline!

jwoody · 09-29-2003, 06:32 AM

five stars. funny as fuck.

Junchbailey · 09-30-2003, 05:51 AM

That was fucking hilarious

tman17m · 09-30-2003, 05:59 PM

thats good

Esoteric · 09-30-2003, 07:27 PM

LOL, nice one.

Silverbrain · 09-30-2003, 08:03 PM

Great joke, and with a good second read too!

MichaelFarker · 10-01-2003, 10:47 PM

That's the most original and laugh-out-loud funny dirty joke I've heard in a long time.

iktoweya · 10-02-2003, 03:36 AM

Keg-o-Grog · 10-02-2003, 01:10 PM

i like it

Regziever · 10-04-2003, 08:34 AM

Lol!!! didn't see that one comming!! Good one!

giblfiz · 10-04-2003, 10:46 AM

thats great, I'm going to have to tell that one.

swfert · 10-04-2003, 11:02 AM

Classic

JoCat · 10-04-2003, 11:05 AM

That is funny, it cracked me up....

Brewmaniac · 10-04-2003, 11:12 AM

Absolutley fantastic joke! A true classic! Thanks

09-28-2003, 12:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	A guy goes to a party one night... A guy goes to a party one night, and after a couple of hours, he hears the most amazing piano music being played. He thinks it is the most wonderful music he has ever heard and makes his way over to the pianist. "I have to say that the music that you are playing is wonderful." "Thank you very much" says the pianist. "I've never heard this song before, what is it called?" "I called it 'I fuck my wife up the ass and come all over her tits'" "Bloody hell, that's a bit harsh isn't it. I must say though, that I'm having a party in a couple of weeks and would love you to play at it. Perhaps you could just tone down the names of the songs that you will be playing -- my guests wouldn't approve." "No problem" says the pianist. Two weeks later the guy is having his party and the pianist is there and he's playing like a donkey, all the wrong keys - it really is the most dreadful music the guy has ever heard. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the guy. "I'm so sorry, I know I'm playing badly but I really need masturbate." "Masturbate? You're supposed to be playing the piano - all my guests are here." "I know but I can't play well until I've had one." "OK, OK, go into the bathroom, there are some mags in the cupboard and just get back here as soon as you can." Ten minutes later the pianist comes back from the bathroom, sits down at the piano and starts playing beautifully, just the way he's meant to. After a little while a lady walks up to him and says: "Excuse me but do you know your cock's hanging out and you've got cum all over your trousers?" "Know it?" he says, "I wrote it." Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

09-28-2003, 02:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH That was great! __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

09-28-2003, 03:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA GOOD JOKE! __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

09-28-2003, 04:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
twotimesadingo Psycho Location: that place with the thing	one of the best i've "heard" here lately __________________ I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and voice of reason. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son. They're one and the same I must isolate you, isolate and save you from yourself." - A Perfect Circle

09-28-2003, 05:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
Flesh Psycho	haha

09-28-2003, 05:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
TheClarkster Very Proud of Ya Location: Simi Valley, CA	oh man. what a weird joke, very good though. __________________ Do not speak Latin in front of the books.

09-28-2003, 05:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	Long way to go... but great punchline!

09-29-2003, 06:32 AM	#8 (permalink)
jwoody Shackle Me Not Location: Newcastle - England.	five stars. funny as fuck. __________________ .

09-30-2003, 05:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
Junchbailey Psycho Location: Columbia Falls, MT	That was fucking hilarious __________________ Hey guys -- I finally got a semen sample after pumping on my wiener for 2 whole days

09-30-2003, 05:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
tman17m Psycho Location: my cubicle	thats good

09-30-2003, 07:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
Esoteric Tired Location: Florida	LOL, nice one. __________________ From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

09-30-2003, 08:03 PM	#12 (permalink)
Silverbrain Addict Location: Nor Cal	Great joke, and with a good second read too! __________________ Over Thinking, Over Analyzing Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK

10-01-2003, 10:47 PM	#13 (permalink)
MichaelFarker 2+2=5? Not again! Location: Dallas, Texas	That's the most original and laugh-out-loud funny dirty joke I've heard in a long time.

10-02-2003, 03:36 AM	#14 (permalink)
iktoweya These pretzels are making me thirsty!! Location: 105B	heh __________________ i miss K-Wise

10-02-2003, 01:10 PM	#15 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog Insane Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.	i like it __________________ I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

10-04-2003, 08:34 AM	#16 (permalink)
Regziever Sexy eh? Location: Sweden	Lol!!! didn't see that one comming!! Good one! __________________ Life is shit, Death is even worse, So what's the point of killing yourself? /Ignatius Camryn Paladine

10-04-2003, 11:02 AM	#18 (permalink)
swfert Insane	Classic __________________ Love is blind Lust has eyes like an eagle

10-04-2003, 10:46 AM	#17 (permalink)
giblfiz is a shoggoth Location: LA	thats great, I'm going to have to tell that one. __________________ Use the star one and you'll be fighting off the old ones with your bare hands -A Shoggoth on the Roof

10-04-2003, 11:05 AM	#19 (permalink)
JoCat Insane Location: Mich	That is funny, it cracked me up....

10-04-2003, 11:12 AM	#20 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Absolutley fantastic joke! A true classic! Thanks __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"