Yes, it's the return of.....BIG DICK JOKES! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

wry1 · 09-01-2003, 11:30 PM

We've all heard 'em before, and most have told a few as well....so now it's time to share the best! Bring what you've got to the table, slap 'em down, and bask in the appreciation of your big dick.....joke.

I'll even start the thread for ya'.....

My dick is so big, it gets called "sir".
My dick is so big, it doesn't return Speilberg's calls.
My dick is so big, it's dick is bigger than your dick.
My dick is so big, NASA is launching a satellite to map it next year.

Okay, what happens with the thread is now up to you.....Make me proud, boys and girls!

Sleepyjack · 09-02-2003, 12:16 AM

it has its own heart and lungs

edit: shouldn't this be in the jokes section?

Lebell · 09-02-2003, 01:42 AM

yup. moved.

Asshole Lover · 09-02-2003, 02:56 AM

haha...speilberg one was good

MuTuaL · 09-02-2003, 08:20 AM

Has anyone read Drew Carey's Book, he has a WHOLE BUNCH of big dick jokes in it.

tenchi069 · 09-02-2003, 08:45 AM

My dick is so big that if you don't shut up im giving you BOTH inches.

frankx · 09-02-2003, 10:21 AM

She told him to give her 12 inches and make it hurt, so he fucked her four times and punched her in the mouth.

Shpoop · 09-02-2003, 12:10 PM

Q: How do you make my dick 12 inches?

A: Fold it in half

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 09-02-2003, 07:37 PM

My dick is so big that in a big dick measuring contest I only take out enough to win!

Good one Frankx!!

Glad

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 09-02-2003, 07:47 PM

A woman walks up to a guy known to have the biggest dick in town. She asks him how big it really is. He told her that he would only tell her if they go back to his place for a couple of rounds. She thinks about it and agrees.

They go back to his place and she excitedly says, "I don't know how much I can handle!"

He replies, "Don't worry, I'll only give you 2 inches."
She says complaining, "That's not enough!"
He says, "It will be when I give you the first inch and the last inch!"

Glad

twisted_elmo · 09-03-2003, 05:27 AM

most guys walk up to the urinal and take it out to pee...
I walk up.. take it out and then walk backwards
or I just lay it over in the bathtub

Latch · 09-03-2003, 07:14 AM

I could list a bunch, but it may be easier if you just KaZaa or whateve Drew Carey - 101 Big Dick Jokes.mp3.. it's him reading from his book, they're hilarious.

AlCap0wn · 09-03-2003, 07:25 PM

A few that I find amusing:

My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.
My dick is so big, theaters now carry popcorn in four sizes - Small, Medium, Large, and My Dick.

Tiger69z · 09-03-2003, 07:28 PM

My Dick is so big, i have a whole solar system revolving around it..

HAHAHAHAHA

giblfiz · 09-03-2003, 09:06 PM

My dicks so big I pass out when I get a hardon.

CSflim · 09-04-2003, 01:54 PM

My dick is so big Halx is jealous.

marcopolo · 09-04-2003, 02:01 PM

Ten of my favorites ...

In no particular order :

10) My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me.

9) My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.

8) My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. my dick.

7) My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.

6) My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blowjob in Tennessee.

5) My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.

4) My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

3) My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.

2) My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

1) My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and my dick.

marcopolo · 09-04-2003, 02:07 PM

Damn ... here's a few more !

My Dick is so big; the foreskin can be used as a circus tent

My Dick is so big; McDonalds is making it a sandwich, the McMydick.

My Dick is so Big; that when it's Eastern Standard time at the tip, its central in my balls

My Dick is so big; it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear

My Dick is so big; it has an elbow

B21 · 09-04-2003, 04:48 PM

My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.

My dick is so big it has an elevator and a lobby.

My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.

My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.

My dick is so big that no matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.

Midlandmadman · 09-05-2003, 10:25 AM

I love the popcorn joke hahahaha and my dicks so big it has an elbow......... hahaha thats funny!!!!

conversequietus · 09-05-2003, 05:11 PM

These are all pretty good.

09-01-2003, 11:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Yes, it's the return of.....BIG DICK JOKES! We've all heard 'em before, and most have told a few as well....so now it's time to share the best! Bring what you've got to the table, slap 'em down, and bask in the appreciation of your big dick.....joke. I'll even start the thread for ya'..... My dick is so big, it gets called "sir". My dick is so big, it doesn't return Speilberg's calls. My dick is so big, it's dick is bigger than your dick. My dick is so big, NASA is launching a satellite to map it next year. Okay, what happens with the thread is now up to you.....Make me proud, boys and girls!

09-02-2003, 12:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	it has its own heart and lungs edit: shouldn't this be in the jokes section? Last edited by Sleepyjack; 09-02-2003 at 12:25 AM..

09-02-2003, 01:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	yup. moved. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

09-02-2003, 02:56 AM	#4 (permalink)
Asshole Lover Crazy	haha...speilberg one was good __________________ smells like ass, tastes like _______.

09-02-2003, 08:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
tenchi069 Lost Location: One step closer to the padded cell...	My dick is so big that if you don't shut up im giving you BOTH inches. __________________ ERROR- PLBSAK Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.

09-02-2003, 08:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
MuTuaL Crazy Location: Michigan	Has anyone read Drew Carey's Book, he has a WHOLE BUNCH of big dick jokes in it.

09-02-2003, 10:21 AM	#7 (permalink)
frankx Psycho Location: The Tip of the Boot	She told him to give her 12 inches and make it hurt, so he fucked her four times and punched her in the mouth. __________________ Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunken Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

09-02-2003, 12:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
Shpoop Curious Location: NJ (but just for college)	Q: How do you make my dick 12 inches? A: Fold it in half

09-02-2003, 07:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	My dick is so big that in a big dick measuring contest I only take out enough to win! Good one Frankx!! Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

09-02-2003, 07:47 PM	#10 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	A woman walks up to a guy known to have the biggest dick in town. She asks him how big it really is. He told her that he would only tell her if they go back to his place for a couple of rounds. She thinks about it and agrees. They go back to his place and she excitedly says, "I don't know how much I can handle!" He replies, "Don't worry, I'll only give you 2 inches." She says complaining, "That's not enough!" He says, "It will be when I give you the first inch and the last inch!" Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

09-03-2003, 05:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
twisted_elmo Psycho Location: upstate	most guys walk up to the urinal and take it out to pee... I walk up.. take it out and then walk backwards or I just lay it over in the bathtub __________________ Having fun Yet?

09-03-2003, 07:14 AM	#12 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	I could list a bunch, but it may be easier if you just KaZaa or whateve Drew Carey - 101 Big Dick Jokes.mp3.. it's him reading from his book, they're hilarious.

09-03-2003, 07:28 PM	#14 (permalink)
Tiger69z Banned Location: Sunny S.FLA	My Dick is so big, i have a whole solar system revolving around it.. HAHAHAHAHA

09-03-2003, 09:06 PM	#15 (permalink)
giblfiz is a shoggoth Location: LA	My dicks so big I pass out when I get a hardon. __________________ Use the star one and you'll be fighting off the old ones with your bare hands -A Shoggoth on the Roof

09-04-2003, 01:54 PM	#16 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	My dick is so big Halx is jealous. __________________

09-04-2003, 02:01 PM	#17 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	Ten of my favorites ... In no particular order : 10) My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me. 9) My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it. 8) My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. my dick. 7) My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole. 6) My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blowjob in Tennessee. 5) My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it. 4) My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third. 3) My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures. 2) My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow. 1) My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and my dick. __________________ Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

09-04-2003, 02:07 PM	#18 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	Damn ... here's a few more ! My Dick is so big; the foreskin can be used as a circus tent My Dick is so big; McDonalds is making it a sandwich, the McMydick. My Dick is so Big; that when it's Eastern Standard time at the tip, its central in my balls My Dick is so big; it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear My Dick is so big; it has an elbow __________________ Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

09-04-2003, 04:48 PM	#19 (permalink)
B21 Loser Location: Earth	My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman. My dick is so big it has an elevator and a lobby. My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum. My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick. My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor. My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick. My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run. My dick is so big that no matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.

09-05-2003, 10:25 AM	#20 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	I love the popcorn joke hahahaha and my dicks so big it has an elbow......... hahaha thats funny!!!! __________________ Its good to be back.

09-05-2003, 05:11 PM	#21 (permalink)
conversequietus Insane	These are all pretty good.