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08-26-2003, 09:46 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Tilted
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Worth a try?
After pulling over a speeding driver, a police officer continues with the usual procedure, asking the driver for his license.
“I don’t have one,” the driver answers, “I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.” “May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?” the officer then asks. “It’s not my car,” the driver responds, “I stole it.” The confused officer then asks, “The car is stolen?” “That’s right,” says the driver. “But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.” “You’re telling me there’s a gun in the glove box?” the officer says. “Yes sir,” the driver continues. “That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.” “There’s a body in the trunk?!?” the amazed officer asks. Still straight faced, the driver answers, “Yes, sir.” Hearing this, the officer immediately calls his captain. Numerous other cops show up for back up and the captain slowly approaches the driver to handle this tense situation. The Captain then approaches, “Sir, can I see your license?” “Here you go officer,” the driver says calmly as he hands him a legit ID. “Who’s car is this?” the Captain asks. “It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card,” the driver answers while handing him a valid registration in his name. “Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?” the Captain continues. “Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it,” the driver responds. Sure enough, there is nothing in the glove box. The Captain then asks, “Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there’s a body in it.” “No problem,” the driver says before opening the trunk, which is also empty. “I don’t understand it,” the Captain says. “The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk.” “Yeah,” the driver says. “And I’ll bet you the lying sonovabitch told you I was speeding, too!” |
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08-28-2003, 10:56 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Sarge of Blood Gulch Red Outpost Number One
Location: On the front lines against our very enemy
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Love that one, tho I wanna hear what happened to the guy AFTER the police realize that he's trying to get out of a ticket, cops have no sense of humor, like I'd know or anything, heh heh. *gulp*
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"This ain't no Ice Cream Social!" "Hey Grif, Chupathingy...how bout that? I like it...got a ring to it." "I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the hell O'Malley is! My only choice is to blame Grif for coming up with such a flawed plan. Stupid, stupid Grif." |
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08-31-2003, 09:28 AM
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#13 (permalink) |
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Tilted
Location: Tempe, AZ
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lol, I wonder if that would really work!
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"And I think it’s gonna be a long long time 'Till touchdown brings me 'round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home Oh, no, no, no, I’m a rocket man, Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone..." |
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08-31-2003, 12:52 PM
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#14 (permalink) |
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Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind
Location: Oreegawn
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yeah! rad
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Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane. |
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