Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-04-2003, 08:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
Insane
 
o14real's Avatar
 
Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf

<div align="center">
Its Saturday morning. Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he has forgotten to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

-Hello, says a little girl's voice.
-Hi, honey, it's Daddy, says Bob. - Is Mammy near the phone? -No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank.


After a brief pause, Bob says:
-But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!
-Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mammy!
-Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mammy and uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house. -Okay, Daddy!


A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. -Well, I did what you said, Daddy. -And what happened? -Well, Mammy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead. -Oh my god... And what about uncle Frank? -He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgotten that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too.


There is a long pause, then Bob says:
-Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?



</div>
o14real is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 10:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
Insane
 
that's hilarious - nice twist on a Little Johnny style joke
fizzledorf is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 02:16 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: In an office with no windows
I agree - that one is great.
BadForm is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 02:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
jdkash
Guest
 
lol good one bro
 
Old 08-04-2003, 02:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Lol delightfully crass
Looften is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 02:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
absolute relativist
 
clifclav's Avatar
 
Location: D.C.
bwahhhh! didn't see that one coming at all. very disturbing but I still chuckled, Thanks
__________________
Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer!
clifclav is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 03:35 PM   #7 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Poor kid, good joke though.
__________________
Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition
TerresqueÜ is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 04:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
That's funny!
__________________
DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.
SirLance is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 07:11 PM   #9 (permalink)
Tilted
 
thats a good one haha
pkeigs is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 07:28 PM   #10 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: cali
her mammy had it coming anyways. good joke.
__________________
no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry

question authority, don't ask why, just do it!
slant eyes is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 08:26 PM   #11 (permalink)
back from sabbatical
 
hawkeye's Avatar
 
Location: Mosptopia
well. isn't THAT ironic....
__________________
You're not fat,
You're just a giant ball
of love, covered in anger.
hawkeye is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 09:22 PM   #12 (permalink)
We can't stop here! This is bat country!
 
chewybaca96's Avatar
 
Location: SL,UT
an oldie but a goodie
__________________
Brian: “Ok, all we’ve gotta do is find the American Embassy, and they’ll help us get home”
Stewie: “Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob, and that insufferable dog… Oh, you’re right here aren’t you? Oh well, I stand by it."
chewybaca96 is offline  
Old 08-05-2003, 11:02 AM   #13 (permalink)
Sexy eh?
 
Location: Sweden
ROTFLMAO!!! Awesome!! hehehe..
__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine
Regziever is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 05:10 AM   #14 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: upstate
funny shit....great one
__________________
Having fun Yet?
twisted_elmo is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 08:20 AM   #15 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: MS
ohh oops! wrong number
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford
tfpfreak is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 08:22 AM   #16 (permalink)
Redwing fan extraordinaire
 
Location: Michigan
that was pretty good..........
__________________
Its good to be back.
Midlandmadman is offline  
 

Tags
bob, golf, round, set

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:05 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360