uncle phil

TELL ME WHY


How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

You know how most packages say "Open here"... What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else?"

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why is it that the guy who comes up behind you while you're waiting for an elevator presses the already lit "up" button -- as though he somehow has magical powers that you didn't when you pressed it the first time?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

wflol

lol

Reese

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Yes, but I have not imagined a world with no Hypocritical situations

Why is the alphabet in that order?
because no words can be pulled out of the sequence of the letters. When the alphabet was first created the letters O-R-G-A-S-M were in that order.. you can imagine the horror when they kid came home and said I learned my orgasm today mom!

Nice post.

__________________
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

Regziever

Hehe.. Good questions!

__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine

tfpfreak

nice thanks never thought about most of these

__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford

DEI37

These are good. There are just some questions like this that we'll never know the answer to.

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

egorey

These are great. Thanks. Had heard a few, but things like this never get old.

Thanks again.

MikeyChalupa

I think a carrot isn't any more orange (there is no color orange, only red green and blue, after all) than an orange, it's more red, and less green.

Just bustin' yer balls...

-Mikey