Mail order bride - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Borla · 02-15-2011, 02:59 PM

Back in the mid/late 1800s, it wasn't terribly uncommon for lonely fellas out west to correspond with lonely ladies back east, and eventually agree to marry. One day just such an occurance was to happen, and on the appointed day, a man was waiting patiently at the train station for the train his bride-to-be was supposed to arrive on. Finally the moment came, they exchanged their awkward greetings, and they loaded her bags into his wagon and set off for his farm just outside of town. Just as they are getting to the edge of town, the horse stops dead in it's tracks. The man clucks at it and pops the reins, but the horse won't move. The man tells his fiance "Excuse me dear", dismounts from the wagon, walks around to face the horse, grabs the bridle and sternly says "THAT'S ONE!". He calmly walks back to the wagon, climbs aboard, and this time the horse trots away just fine.

As they are going through the countryside getting to know one another, the man is pointing off in the distance to his farm when the horse again stops dead in his tracks. Again the man pops the reins, clucks at the horse, but again, nothing happens. He excuses himself, walks around to face the horse, grabs the bridle, and sternly says "THAT'S TWO!!". Once again, as soon as he gets back on the wagon, the horse takes off as if nothing happened. Finally they approach the lane to turn into the farm. Just as they are turning in, the horse again stops dead! The farmer again dismounts, walks around to confront the horse, sternly says "THAT's THREE!!"" But this time, as he speaks the word "three" he pulls out his Colt .45 and shoots the horse square in the head, killing it instantly.

The poor woman from the city back east is aghast at what her new husband-to-be has just done. She immediately protests "Why did you do that?!? He was just a dumb animal, and we are almost to the house, he wasn't hurting anything!!" The man calmly walks to her side of the wagon, looks her square in the eye, and sternly says:

"THAT'S ONE!!"

uncle phil · 02-15-2011, 03:21 PM

oldie, but still a goodie...

bagatelle · 02-16-2011, 02:28 AM

Hehe... I've used a variation of this joke a few times to describe the beginning of my marriage.

Was nothing like that though...

02-15-2011, 02:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
Borla Junkie	Mail order bride Back in the mid/late 1800s, it wasn't terribly uncommon for lonely fellas out west to correspond with lonely ladies back east, and eventually agree to marry. One day just such an occurance was to happen, and on the appointed day, a man was waiting patiently at the train station for the train his bride-to-be was supposed to arrive on. Finally the moment came, they exchanged their awkward greetings, and they loaded her bags into his wagon and set off for his farm just outside of town. Just as they are getting to the edge of town, the horse stops dead in it's tracks. The man clucks at it and pops the reins, but the horse won't move. The man tells his fiance "Excuse me dear", dismounts from the wagon, walks around to face the horse, grabs the bridle and sternly says "THAT'S ONE!". He calmly walks back to the wagon, climbs aboard, and this time the horse trots away just fine. As they are going through the countryside getting to know one another, the man is pointing off in the distance to his farm when the horse again stops dead in his tracks. Again the man pops the reins, clucks at the horse, but again, nothing happens. He excuses himself, walks around to face the horse, grabs the bridle, and sternly says "THAT'S TWO!!". Once again, as soon as he gets back on the wagon, the horse takes off as if nothing happened. Finally they approach the lane to turn into the farm. Just as they are turning in, the horse again stops dead! The farmer again dismounts, walks around to confront the horse, sternly says "THAT's THREE!!"" But this time, as he speaks the word "three" he pulls out his Colt .45 and shoots the horse square in the head, killing it instantly. The poor woman from the city back east is aghast at what her new husband-to-be has just done. She immediately protests "Why did you do that?!? He was just a dumb animal, and we are almost to the house, he wasn't hurting anything!!" The man calmly walks to her side of the wagon, looks her square in the eye, and sternly says: "THAT'S ONE!!" __________________ Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde!!!!

02-15-2011, 03:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	oldie, but still a goodie... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

02-16-2011, 02:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
bagatelle Psycho Location: Europe	Hehe... I've used a variation of this joke a few times to describe the beginning of my marriage. Was nothing like that though... __________________ Life is...