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04-19-2003, 01:09 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Insane
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Math jokes (warning SUPER LAME)
Three statisticians went duck hunting and finally came across a duck. The first one shot at it but aimed too high and missed. Then the second one shot but aimed too low and missed. The third one jumped up and down all excited and yelled "We hit it we hit it!!!!"
What did one math book say to the other? Leave me alone, I've got my own problems What did the mathematician call his band? The Logarithms Descartes went to relax at a tavern. The barkeep approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably... What's the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"? Natural log cabin + c = houseboat Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side There was once a very smart horse. Anything you showed it, he mastered it easily. Until one day someone tried to teach it rectangular coordinates and he just couldn't understand them. Everyone tried to figure out what was wrong and couldn't. Then a new guy looked at the problem and said "Of course he can't do it, you're putting Descartes before the horse!" And finally, the world's shortest math joke: Let Epsilon < 0 |
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04-19-2003, 02:19 AM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: Drifting.
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hehehe... there was a reason why i found those funny too.
i have my own super lame jokes to share... Q) Why is maths an angry subject? A) Because you have mean variables and cross products. One day, a bus driver was getting very upset because none of the kids in his bus would shut up. He tried to put up with it, but eventually, the noise became so much that he slammed his foot on the brakes, got up, turned around, and screamt the frist thing that was in his mind... which was "IF YOU ALL DON'T SHUT UP, ILL DIFFERENTIATE YOU ALL!" As everyone stopped talking, a lone student in the back stood up and said "you cant hurt me, I am e to the x!" |
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04-20-2003, 03:03 AM
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#16 (permalink) |
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Sky Piercer
Location: Ireland
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Goddamnit! It was all going so well...I understood (and laughed at) all of the jokes, until I got to the last one....
the world's shortest math joke: Let Epsilon < 0 -C.S. Flim "Natural log cabin + c = houseboat" hehehehe! brilliant!
__________________
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04-20-2003, 03:04 AM
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#17 (permalink) |
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Sky Piercer
Location: Ireland
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oh and another one...
Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who askes: "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am" (ok, not a maths joke, a physics joke, but still funny)
__________________
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04-20-2003, 03:20 AM
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#18 (permalink) | |
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Crazy
Location: MN-WI
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Quote:
But epsilon is used in equations testing limits of things such like this: | x | < epsilon. Since the absolute value of X is always >= 0, having a negative-valued epsilon is kind of funny.  For my own contribution... 12 + 144 + 20 + (3 × (4^½)) ÷ 7 + (5 × 11) = 9² + 0 A dozen, a gross, and a score Plus three times the square root of four Divided by seven, Plus five times eleven Is nine squared, and not a bit more. |
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04-25-2003, 01:14 AM
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#27 (permalink) |
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Psycho
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*LOL* Math limerics! Great job, Xixox!
I actually laughed at far more of those than I probably should have. I'll have to pass these along to a math major friend of mine.
__________________
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone." |
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04-25-2003, 06:00 AM
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#30 (permalink) |
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Psycho
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Some psychologists studying how people
solve problems set up an experiment one day, and invited a physicist and a mathematician to participate. The physicist was led into a room where an empty saucepan was sitting in a sink, next to a gas stove. "Boil water," instructed one of the researchers. The physicist filled the pan from the tap in the sink, carried it over to the stove, and placed it on a burner. He turned the burner on, and waited patiently. A few minutes later, the water boiled, and the physicist sat down. Next, the mathematician was presented with the same situation. He filled the pan from the tap in the sink, carried it over to the stove, and placed it on a burner. He turned the burner on, and waited patiently. A few minutes later, the water boiled, and the mathematician sat down. For their second experiment, the psychologists placed a full pan of water on the stove, and brought in the physicist. "Boil water." The physicist turned the burner on, and waited patiently. A few minutes later the water boiled, and the physicist sat down. Finally, the mathematician was brought in to do the new experiment. "Boil water," said the researchers. The mathematician walked to the stove, picked up the pan, carried it to the sink, dumped out the water, and sat down. "Is that it?" asked one psychologist incredulously. "Yes," replied the mathematician, perfectly calm, "I've reduced it to a problem with a known solution." |
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04-26-2003, 02:29 PM
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#34 (permalink) | |
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Sky Piercer
Location: Ireland
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Quote:
Muahahaha! Best one yet! |
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04-26-2003, 06:10 PM
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#36 (permalink) |
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Junkie
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It has been years since I took any math, but I found most of these funny. I won't point out the one or two I am still struggling with.
__________________
I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It's a common failing. Robert A Heinlein in "They Do It With Mirrors" |
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04-26-2003, 07:39 PM
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#37 (permalink) | |
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Psycho
Location: 127.0.0.1
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Quote:
Great jokes  |
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04-26-2003, 10:22 PM
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#39 (permalink) |
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Upright
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the natural log cabin + c joke made me laugh, really, really hard
check this out http://www.yourmom.com/index.php?PHP...e47d015&PID=16 yo mama jokes, based on math! |
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| Tags |
| jokes, lame, math, super, warning |
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