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-   -   Biter (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/160259-biter.html)

astroid60 12-10-2010 03:52 PM

Biter
 
Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little mongrels that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.

Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little shit's teeth as he was grinning at me like the little shit he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!” Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FUCK!” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, 'Mum, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm... I'm FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.
And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn't defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them; buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the bitch she is.
I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

Xerxys 12-10-2010 09:13 PM

Sick.

I love it.

bagatelle 12-11-2010 12:05 AM

Great!

uncle phil 12-11-2010 02:57 AM

'ckin' great!!!

flat5 12-11-2010 05:25 AM

You are the Child Whisperer.

Redlemon 12-12-2010 08:24 AM

I hope that this is in humor because it is a made up story. If so, I merely disapprove. If not, I despise you.

RogueGypsy 12-12-2010 10:21 AM

Not sure were RL is coming from, I've had encounters with similarly unruly, unrestrained children.

This is genius.

Though I have to admit, neither the child or the parent would likely still have any teeth. :D


.

The_Jazz 12-12-2010 12:50 PM

Any stranger that gets bitten by a kid deserved it.


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