astroid60

Thommo goes out with his buddies for a night on the town and they cap off the festivities by going to a house of ill repute.
A week later, ol' Thommo visits his doctor complaining of a large green lump on the end of his penis.
The doctor does a thorough exam, then pulls down a weighty medical book and flicks through it till he finds what he's looking for. He looks up and says, "I'm afraid this is serious. We'll have to operate!"
"Operate?", exclaims ol' Thommo, "Why, Doc? What's the problem?"
"Well, you know how boxers can get a cauliflower ear? You've developed the same sort of thing. You've got a brothel sprout."

uncle phil

/me groans, but chuckles inwardly...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Iliftrocks

That one hurt.

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."