uncle phil

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge..."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

tenchi069

I love these. They tend to spark my enthusiam for puns without being the same old static bar jokes that leave you with a negative feeling.

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ERROR- PLBSAK
Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.

Lindy

Revolting. But it will probably generate more.

Lindy

Redlemon

Two atoms are walking down the streets. The first suddenly stops and says "Wait! I think I lost an electron!" The second asks "Are you sure?" The first says "Yes, I'm positive!"

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Baraka_Guru

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot