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Old 07-31-2009, 02:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Bitches 'Til The End

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't good. I have cancer, so let's head to the club and have a martini.' After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Mom, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'
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Old 07-31-2009, 05:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Near Raleigh, NC
Outstanding!!!
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Old 08-29-2009, 10:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
Upright
 
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haha that is priceless
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ur money baby!!
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Old 01-12-2010, 07:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: born in vietnam, lost in california
lol, i gotta remember this one. i like it!
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Old 01-12-2010, 03:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana
Yes, that one is priceless. Thanks!
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Old 01-13-2010, 08:52 AM   #6 (permalink)
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best of all!
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