squeeeb

a devout baptist couple are gonna get married, so they go talk to their pastor.

the man says "we would really like to dance at our wedding. can we?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" says the pastor, "its against our belief."

the girl screws up her courage and asks "um..what about sex, we can have sex, right?"

the pastor says "of course. god commanded us to be fruitful and multiply."

"um, can the girl be on top?" asked the guy

"sure, it doesn't matter as long as you are procreating."

"and we can do it in the kitchen, right there on the table?" he asked.

"of course, same rules apply" smiled the pastor.

the girl asks "and we can do it standing up?"

"ABOLUTELY NOT!" says the pastor, "it could lead to dancing!"

__________________
onward to mayhem!

uncle phil

bumper snicker - "some people are so narrow-minded their ears rub together..."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

byesman

I'm a Baptist, and I tell some variation of this joke a lot. Thanks.

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If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost,
forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl.

H.L. Mencken