uncle phil

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

noodle

Done that. Cat's fine.

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daysleeper

Aww.. this brings back sad memories. When I was a kid I accidentally shut the sliding door on one of my kittens. It walked crooked from then on.

Starkizzer

Eeep! Oh nos poor kiteh

Reminds me when my old ktties (RIP) were kittens and the brother got behind a tall speaker and knocked it over on to his sis head who was sleeping in front of it. Her head stayed small while her body grew, and she sounded like Darth Vader when she breathed from then on.

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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

Plan9

Wow, this is the most depressing Humor post I've read.

Stop it with the kitten abuse stories! I'm sensitive!

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Iliftrocks

Sensitive for kittens, but not women and children? Oh noes

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

LoganSnake

I would imagine the cat would screech loud enough to hear a mile away.

They get pretty loud when you step on their tail....

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

CinnamonGirl

Kitties are fluffier.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

genuinegirly

One should hope so.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy