uncle phil

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.

The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Hmm...." mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors... Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement
that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his
testicles were no longer aching. The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"

The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"

The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots..."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

SSJTWIZTA

HA! nice.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Xerxys

Iliftrocks

groannnnnnnnnnn

__________________
bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."