Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-18-2009, 03:43 AM   #1 (permalink)
Living in a Warmer Insanity
 
Tully Mars's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Yucatan, Mexico
Sex Frogs

A young woman goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of live frogs.


The sign says:
"SEX FROGS" Only $20 each!

Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The young woman excitedly looks around to see if
anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man
behind the counter, "I'll TAKE one!"

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her,
"Just follow the instructions!

The young woman nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on
her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she
opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.
She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down
beside you, and allow the frog to do what
he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her
surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The young woman is very
disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads
the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper
it says, "If you have any problems or questions please
call the pet store."

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be
right over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.
The young woman welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done
everything according to the instructions. The damn frog
just SITS there!"

The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog,
stares directly into its eyes, and STERNLY says:


"LISTEN TO ME!!

I'm only going to show you how to do this

ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!"
__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club
Tully Mars is offline  
Old 04-18-2009, 05:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
Husband of Seamaiden
 
Lucifer's Avatar
 
Location: Nova Scotia
ROFL!
__________________
I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321
Lucifer is offline  
Old 04-18-2009, 07:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
Cheers
 
Shell's Avatar
 
Location: Eastcoast USA
that's a knee-slapper
__________________
..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss
Shell is offline  
Old 04-24-2009, 01:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Niceone!!
Xerxys is offline  
Old 04-24-2009, 05:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
 
ItWasMe's Avatar
 
Location: under your bed
I thought it was funny. My teenager didn't get the joke. That should probably make me happy.
__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

ItWasMe is offline  
Old 04-25-2009, 01:47 AM   #6 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
haha...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 05-02-2009, 04:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
Upright
 
YellowBird's Avatar
 
Location: Brisbane, Australia
that's clever. I wonder if anyone's ever done anything like that.
YellowBird is offline  
 

Tags
frogs, sex


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:46 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76