04-18-2009, 03:43 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Living in a Warmer Insanity
Super Moderator
Location: Yucatan, Mexico
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Sex Frogs
A young woman goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of live frogs.
The sign says: "SEX FROGS" Only $20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions. The young woman excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll TAKE one!" As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions! The young woman nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The young woman is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions please call the pet store." So, she calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The young woman welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!" The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes, and STERNLY says: "LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!"
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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club |
04-24-2009, 05:37 PM | #5 (permalink) |
But You'll Never Prove It.
Location: under your bed
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I thought it was funny. My teenager didn't get the joke. That should probably make me happy.
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe |
04-25-2009, 01:47 AM | #6 (permalink) |
comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
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haha...
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
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frogs, sex |
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