Shell

A husband and wife are travelling by car from Key West to Boston.

After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue
and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a
room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the
road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk Clerk; hands them a bill
for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells
the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00.

When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on
speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available
for the husband and wife to use.

'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.

'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes
on to explain they could also have taken in one of the shows for which the
hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood, and Las
Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.

'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.
He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. 'But sir,' he says,
'this cheque is only made out for $50.00.'

'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with
my wife.'

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have!'

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..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

Tully Mars

Funny.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

uncle phil

touche...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Daniel_

Like it.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

MauiMensch

bravo. well done.

Kahn

Well played

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Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area !

You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !!

Dinner $50
Drinks $30
Motel $40

Finding out she swallows -
PRICELESS!!!