uncle phil

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands. The girl has been watching him and says,'You must be a dentist.'

The guy, surprised, says 'Yes....how did you figure that out?

'Easy,' she replied, 'you keep washing your hands.'

One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl says, 'You must be a good dentist.'

The guy, now with a boosted ego says,'Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?'

'Didn't feel a thing...'

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tully Mars

And then the fight started.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Xerxys

Baraka_Guru

Maybe his condoms are lubricated with novocaine....

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

phathom

That'd be a great practical joke to play on someone, putting novacaine on the condoms, inside and out, both people lying there all numb trying to do it, it'd be hillarious to watch, or maybe that's just me and my twisted mind lol

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-snooch to the nooch