Federal Contracting - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 03-11-2009, 02:16 AM

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from Illinois, one from Tennessee and a third from Kentucky.

They all go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Illinois contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, whispers back, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Illinois contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and
we hire that guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how it all works!

blktour · 03-11-2009, 09:04 AM

I chuckled, THEN i got somewhat angry because I know this is how most contracts work! hahaha!

Delvid · 03-11-2009, 01:46 PM

That is about right for Illinois.

SirLance · 03-12-2009, 04:43 PM

I didn't know Blagojevich went into the fencing business!

Kahn · 03-16-2009, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirLance

I didn't know Blagojevich went into the fencing business!

hahahahaha

that was actually much funnier to me than the original joke itself, and I laughed at that too

underdawg · 04-06-2009, 11:45 PM

Must be Chicago!

03-11-2009, 02:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Federal Contracting Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from Illinois, one from Tennessee and a third from Kentucky. They all go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Illinois contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, whispers back, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Illinois contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire that guy from Kentucky to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how it all works! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

03-12-2009, 04:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	I didn't know Blagojevich went into the fencing business! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

03-11-2009, 09:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
blktour Psycho Location: Anchorage, AK	I chuckled, THEN i got somewhat angry because I know this is how most contracts work! hahaha!

03-11-2009, 01:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
Delvid Insane Location: Missouri	That is about right for Illinois.

04-06-2009, 11:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
underdawg Upright Location: BAMA!	Must be Chicago!