Choking - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

LoganSnake · 02-27-2009, 02:05 PM

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son He gives the young
boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father
realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the
back.

The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business
suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of
coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup
down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up
from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the
boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then
ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs
up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father
and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father
rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen
anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

'No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney'

SSJTWIZTA · 02-27-2009, 05:04 PM

Nice!

Xerxys · 02-27-2009, 07:05 PM

carrot glace · 02-27-2009, 10:59 PM

every...last...nickle lol

Brewmaniac · 02-28-2009, 02:08 AM

Great joke, thanks!

demotivational · 03-02-2009, 03:01 PM

Passing this one on, thanks!, where did you get it from =) ?

Willravel · 03-02-2009, 03:09 PM

Hahaha.... fantastic!

uncle phil · 03-02-2009, 03:16 PM

how'd i miss that before?

great!!!

genuinegirly · 03-02-2009, 03:22 PM

Oh man! Hehehe.

LoganSnake · 03-02-2009, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demotivational

Passing this one on, thanks!, where did you get it from =) ?

A friend sent it to me.

SabrinaFair · 03-05-2009, 12:51 PM

I'll have to remember that, it should be good for a giggle at the courthouse Monday morning. :-)

JustDoll · 03-05-2009, 06:02 PM

haha! so uncalled for...

02-27-2009, 02:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	Choking A father walks into a restaurant with his young son He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?" 'No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney' __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

02-27-2009, 05:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	Nice! __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller

02-27-2009, 10:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
carrot glace Crazy Location: orange county	every...last...nickle lol __________________ "blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

02-28-2009, 02:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Great joke, thanks! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

03-02-2009, 03:01 PM	#6 (permalink)
demotivational Upright	Passing this one on, thanks!, where did you get it from =) ? __________________ demotivational posters

02-27-2009, 07:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.

03-02-2009, 03:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Hahaha.... fantastic!

03-02-2009, 03:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	how'd i miss that before? great!!! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

03-02-2009, 03:22 PM	#9 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Oh man! Hehehe. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

03-05-2009, 12:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	I'll have to remember that, it should be good for a giggle at the courthouse Monday morning. :-) __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

03-05-2009, 06:02 PM	#12 (permalink)
JustDoll Upright Location: T.dot	haha! so uncalled for... __________________ It's like you slit my throat, watched me bleed to death, and asked my dead body why I was screaming in so much pain.