uncle phil

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,'she replied. 'Get your own fucking blanket.'

After a moment of silence...he farted.

The End

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

gamefreak1398

lol harsh reality =\

Xerxys

Ohhh, thanks man... I needed that!!!

genuinegirly

Yep, I've heard this one before. But it's a good classic.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Iliftrocks

That was a definite keeper

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

carrot glace

lol, nice one

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"blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

Sensei

Hilarious. Although it may be a little too close to home if I ever get hitched.

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Slacking off with style since 1981.