Strange Famous

I read this joke the other day, and it made me laugh at least!



An English ventriloquist is on holiday in Wales, and one day while taking a walk he see's a farmer leaning up against a brick wall besides the farm, and decides to have some fun.

"Hi there" says the ventriloquist "say, do you mind if I talk to your dog there?"
The Welshman regards the Englishman as if he was mad "I'm afraid he doesnt talk, buddy"
"Are you sure?" replies the Englishman and then turns to the dog "how you doing there?" he asks
"Im doing great thanks" replies the "dog"
The Welshman is absolutely dumbstruck
"Tell me" continues the English "is this man here your owner?"
"He sure is"
"And does he treat you well?"
"Sure, he takes me for a walk twice a day and once a week he takes me to the lake and I go for a swim"
The Englishman turns to the Welshman and asks "mind if I talk to your horse?"
The Welshman is still staring in disbelief and stammers "well, the horse doesnt talk... I dont think"

"How are you?" the Englishman asks the horse
"I'm cool" replies the "horse"
"So is this your owner, and does he treat you well?"
"Oh yes, I get plenty of exercise and my owner gives me apples to eat every Saturday which are my favourite"
The Welshman is literally open mouthed with shock.

"Mind if I speak to that sheep over there?" asks the smiling Englishman, deciding to have a bit more of a laugh
Spoiler: "Now that sheep is a god damned liar!!!!" explodes the Welshman

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

shakran

That's a good one. I'll be telling that to people.

blahblah454

Hahaha! I enjoyed that one!

Baraka_Guru

A nice turn on a classic theme.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

SSJTWIZTA

oh man. this is share worthy.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Gortexfogg

Heh, nice one!

Iliftrocks

I saw it coming, and still laughed

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."