The Hallowe'en Costume - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 10-31-2008, 02:19 AM

A bald headed man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his hairless head and his peg leg, so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible, because they have emphasized his wooden leg, so he writes a letter strongly expressing his indignation.
A week later, he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have merely gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the company an even nastier letter to complain.
The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,
We have TRIED our very BEST. Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed walnuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, sprinkle and pat the crushed nuts on, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

sadistikdreams · 10-31-2008, 03:14 PM

Haha! That's awesome.

10-31-2008, 02:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	The Hallowe'en Costume A bald headed man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his hairless head and his peg leg, so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. The man thinks this is terrible, because they have emphasized his wooden leg, so he writes a letter strongly expressing his indignation. A week later, he receives another parcel and a note, which says: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. Now the man is really upset since they have merely gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the company an even nastier letter to complain. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads: Dear Sir, We have TRIED our very BEST. Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed walnuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, sprinkle and pat the crushed nuts on, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

10-31-2008, 03:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	Haha! That's awesome. __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.