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Old 10-09-2008, 02:49 AM   #1 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
Shit

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider:

You can be shit faced,
Shit out of luck,
Or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together,
Find a place for your shit
Or decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
Buy shit, sell shit,
Lose shit, find shit,
Forget shit,
And tell others to eat shit and die.
Some people know their shit,
While others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits,
Dumb shits,
Crazy shits,
And sweet shits.
There is bull shit,
Horse shit
And chicken shit.
You can throw shit,
Sling shit,
Catch shit,
Shoot the shit,
Or duck when shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit
Or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
Or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
Some days are hotter than shit,
And some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
Things can look like shit,
And there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
Not enough shit,
The right shit,
The wrong shit
Or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
Have a mountain of shit,
Or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit,
And other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling
like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
It's the basic building block of creation.
And remember, once you know your shit,
You don't need to know anything else!
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-09-2008, 02:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
Brewmaniac's Avatar
 
I think I just shit myself!
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
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