LoganSnake

I was at the checkout of a Kmart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again ... same senario ! I departed the store with the $46.64.

I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon For a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little Chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one- get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one Of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the Sky and said, "Where ?"

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a Seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went To the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a Trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Ilow

Man, those are freakin great (in a "dear god help us" kind of way). Hard to imagine how the US economy is lagging with these mensa members there to help!

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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

gamefreak1398

haha i actually remember this being posted wayyyyy back in like 2005 or soemting

SSJTWIZTA

i didnt laugh at all.

this just sort of depressed me.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

grumpyolddude

I believe I met all of those folks just today.

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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard