nrclark

1.. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2.. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3.. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

4.. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5.. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

6.. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

7.. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8.. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... '

...

PonyPotato

These are pretty good.

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"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

snowy

My face hurts from laughing.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

kutulu

Not to be a fun killer, but....

snopes.com: Olympic Games

snowy

Yeah, I saw that shortly thereafter, but it doesn't really make it any less funny. And in fact, the Snopes entry is pretty funny in and of itself.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

ratbastid

I'll bet that makes his racket stand on end!

... is more or less what Johnny Carson said when this was said to him of Arnold Palmer's wife kissing his balls before a big tournament. Although Johnny said it about his putter.

Although actually he didn't. It's one of those apocryphal classic TV bits that never actually happened. Like Grouch's "I love my cigar" joke, which he made on his radio show but which was cut before it aired. The only people who ever heard that joke were the studio audience. But thousands and thousand of people claim that they ACTUALLY REMEMBER seeing it on TV.