Share your jokes, funny stories - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

mew · 06-24-2003, 07:04 PM

Just thought it would be good if there was a thread with jokes or something to get people laughing..I need a laugh once and a while. Post one that you think is funny..old joke or new!

Someone told me a joke that I thought was great ..:

Q:Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toy box?

A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's nose saying, "Lie to me! Lie to Me!

Mael · 06-24-2003, 10:29 PM

uhm... isn't this what tilted nonsense is for? but anyways...

Life Lessons

I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you.All you can do
is stalk them and hope they panic
and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I
care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to
build up trust, and it only takes suspicion,
not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on
charm for about fifteen minutes. After that,
you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare
yourself to others - they are
more fucked up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for
what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot
and steamy a relationship is at first, the
passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that sometimes the people
you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones who do.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch
bad friends, because their dysfunction
makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned that no matter how you
try to protect your children, they will
eventually get arrested and end up
in the local paper.

I've learned that the people you care
most about in life are taken from you
too soon and all the less important
ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they
can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

mew · 06-25-2003, 07:12 PM

Tilted nonsense..humor..whatever... did you make that poem up Mael? Its pretty good!lol.

h4ll0ws · 06-25-2003, 10:47 PM

Heheh.. some of these are really good!

NoSoup · 06-27-2003, 04:53 PM

A man came home to find his wife flushed and naked lying on the bed. He also heard a noise in the closet. Striding over to it, he flung it open and found a naked man.

"Just who in the hell do you think you are," the husband bellowed.

The man, not missing a beat, replied "The moth inspector"

"The moth inspector?" Husband replied incredulously, "You're not wearing any clothes!"

The man in the closet glanced down, and exclaimed "God, I'm too late!"

I figured I would share it, it gave me a chuckle...

sooz · 06-28-2003, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mew
Just thought it would be good if there was a thread with jokes or something to get people laughing..I need a laugh once and a while. Post one that you think is funny..old joke or new!

Someone told me a joke that I thought was great ..:

Q:Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toy box?

A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's nose saying, "Lie to me! Lie to Me!

hahah i like that

06-24-2003, 07:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
mew Psycho Location: Canada	Share your jokes, funny stories Just thought it would be good if there was a thread with jokes or something to get people laughing..I need a laugh once and a while. Post one that you think is funny..old joke or new! Someone told me a joke that I thought was great ..: Q:Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toy box? A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's nose saying, "Lie to me! Lie to Me!

06-27-2003, 04:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
NoSoup Non-Rookie Location: Green Bay, WI	A man came home to find his wife flushed and naked lying on the bed. He also heard a noise in the closet. Striding over to it, he flung it open and found a naked man. "Just who in the hell do you think you are," the husband bellowed. The man, not missing a beat, replied "The moth inspector" "The moth inspector?" Husband replied incredulously, "You're not wearing any clothes!" The man in the closet glanced down, and exclaimed "God, I'm too late!" I figured I would share it, it gave me a chuckle... __________________ I have an aura of reliability and good judgement. Just in case you were wondering...

06-24-2003, 10:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mael Banned Location: The Hell I Created.	uhm... isn't this what tilted nonsense is for? but anyways... Life Lessons I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones who do. I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

06-25-2003, 07:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
mew Psycho Location: Canada	Tilted nonsense..humor..whatever... did you make that poem up Mael? Its pretty good!lol.

06-25-2003, 10:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
h4ll0ws Upright	Heheh.. some of these are really good!