Groaner at the Pearly Gates - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Nisses · 07-17-2008, 04:31 AM

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth both die and go up to heaven. They’re standing outside the pearly gates when St. Peter comes down. Dolly is very excited to see him, happy and bubbly, and the queen is just quiet and demure like she always is.

“Ladies,” he says, “We have a problem. We can only let one of you in, and we’re going to have to decide who. You both get to state your case and what you’d do to make Heaven a better place.”

“Well, I’ve got these big boobs,” Dolly says. “I figure I’ll walk around topless, and God can look at them and enjoy them. He created them, after all, I figure he’ll enjoy them.”

“Hmm, interesting,” St. Peter says. “Queen?”

The Queen doesn’t say anything. Noticing a bathroom off to the side, she wanders over, silent and demure, and gives the toilet a single flush. That done, she walks back over to St. Peter.

“Okay, Queen, you’re in.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Dolly interjects. “Why don’t I get in? I’m going to walk around topless and all she did was flush the toilet!”

“Dolly,” St. Peter says, “A royal flush beats a pair, even in heaven.”

bhamv · 07-17-2008, 06:27 AM

Heh, didn't see that coming. A groaner, but a good one!

Redlemon · 07-17-2008, 06:42 AM

I'm pretty sure that Dolly's boobs are bolt-ons, right? So God didn't create them, some plastic surgeon did.

Poppinjay · 07-17-2008, 07:18 AM

I seem to remember her making remarks about paying good money for them, so she has to show them off.

genuinegirly · 07-17-2008, 08:30 AM

hehehe. Royal flush! hehe

Bilbert · 07-17-2008, 03:18 PM

Good one

07-17-2008, 04:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	Groaner at the Pearly Gates Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth both die and go up to heaven. They’re standing outside the pearly gates when St. Peter comes down. Dolly is very excited to see him, happy and bubbly, and the queen is just quiet and demure like she always is. “Ladies,” he says, “We have a problem. We can only let one of you in, and we’re going to have to decide who. You both get to state your case and what you’d do to make Heaven a better place.” “Well, I’ve got these big boobs,” Dolly says. “I figure I’ll walk around topless, and God can look at them and enjoy them. He created them, after all, I figure he’ll enjoy them.” “Hmm, interesting,” St. Peter says. “Queen?” The Queen doesn’t say anything. Noticing a bathroom off to the side, she wanders over, silent and demure, and gives the toilet a single flush. That done, she walks back over to St. Peter. “Okay, Queen, you’re in.” “Hey, wait a minute,” Dolly interjects. “Why don’t I get in? I’m going to walk around topless and all she did was flush the toilet!” “Dolly,” St. Peter says, “A royal flush beats a pair, even in heaven.” __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

07-17-2008, 06:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	I'm pretty sure that Dolly's boobs are bolt-ons, right? So God didn't create them, some plastic surgeon did. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

07-17-2008, 07:18 AM	#4 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	I seem to remember her making remarks about paying good money for them, so she has to show them off. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

07-17-2008, 08:30 AM	#5 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	hehehe. Royal flush! hehe __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

07-17-2008, 06:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
bhamv Upright	Heh, didn't see that coming. A groaner, but a good one!

07-17-2008, 03:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Bilbert Tilted Location: Los Angeles	Good one