uncle phil

A fleeing al Qaeda guerrilla, desperate for water, was plodding through the desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties.

The Arab asked, 'Do you have water?'

The Jewish man replied, 'I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.'

The Arab shouted, 'Idiot Jew! Israel should not exist! I do not need an
overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first.'

'OK,' said the old Jew, 'it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. Shalom.'

Muttering, the Arab staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, near collapse. 'Your brother won't let me in without a tie.'

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

levite

That is freaking awesome! Fuck, that is just beautiful!

Thanks for posting this!!!

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

speshul-k

Excellent. Now, thats a good one mate!

RetroGunslinger

Oh, brilliant. I love Jew jokes, and this one's going in the book.

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It's a rare pleasure in this world to get your mind fucked. Usually it's just foreplay.

M.B. Keene

Morel

xepherys

Hehe, pretty good

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The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage

Reese

sigh.. I heard this one without the Jew/Arab characters. I liked it better before.

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

Brewmaniac

Very clever! Thanks

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

Daniel_

Oy veh!

Like that.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

The Faba

Wait... what was a gorilla doing in the desert?

Or in Al-Quaeda for that manner?

Xerxys

I LOL'd in the office!!!! Now they're staring at me!!!

Kahn

I bow to the greatness that is your wit

THAT .... was funny

you can exchange the two subjects for anyone .. like a man and a woman for example and it's still damn funny, thanks!!!

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Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area !

You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !!

Dinner $50
Drinks $30
Motel $40

Finding out she swallows -
PRICELESS!!!

genuinegirly

AWESOME!

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

therealcat

Best joke I've heard in a long time! Thanks, eh?

777

I bet the price shot up for those ties

__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny