Tully Mars

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Marine are all working together one day. They come across a lantern ....

And a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is
three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Canadian says, “I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.”

POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever
fertile for farming.

Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our precious land.'

POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall
around those countries.

The Marine says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'

The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and
completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out; it's
virtually impenetrable.'

The Marine sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, 'Fill it with water.'

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Martian

Hooray magical genocide!

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

SSJTWIZTA

i found this funnier than the joke itself.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Shauk

this is just a modernized adaptation of a very old joke

uncle phil

"i dream of genie..."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tully Mars

It's all been done, as the Bare Naked Ladies put it.

But yes, old joke new twist.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

tcp

Sorry to spell check, but it's "Semper Fi". Not to ruin the joke, but since it was adapted, I have to say that's not all Osama would wish for and not a Marine's style.

And now to completely hijack your thread with the defacto military joke, it has countless variations, but doesn't get old:

The reason the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines squabble among themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For example, take a simple phrase like, "Secure the building."
- The Army will put guards around the place.
- The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
- The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a command post.
- The Air Force will take out a 5-year lease with an option to buy.

Tully Mars

What can I say dyslectic here. Or is it dsylectis? Whatever it is you get it.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

tcp

No worries, its not the fact a word was misspelled just a point of pride for the Marines.

Tully Mars

If it helps I used to own a boat named "The Misguided"

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

echo5delta

Fuckin' A, Cotton. Spot on.

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"Peace" is when nobody's shooting. A "Just Peace" is when we get what we want. - Bill Mauldin

uncle phil

hehe...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tully Mars

I bought it from a Marine friend of mine. Since I was Navy I thought about changing the name. In a weird way it made me feel like one of those guys who walk around with SEAL hats yet the only thing close to a combat injury they ever saw was a paper cut. In the end I decided not to change it, bad luck to change the name of a boat.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club