echo5delta

(Though significantly less morbid...)

A group of Marine Officers are standing around talking when a Lieutenant said, “I feel that making love is 80% fun and 20% work.”

Captain responded by saying, “No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work.”

Then a Major says, “No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it is 20% fun and 80% work.”

They are all contemplating these revelations when a Gunnery Sergeant walks by. The officers call over to the Gunny to ask his opinion.

The Major says, “Excuse me, Gunny, we are having a discussion and would like your input. The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The Captain says that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. So, what is your opinion?”

The Gunny smiles and says, “Gentlemen, you are all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun because if there was any work involved, you would have the enlisted men doing it for you.”

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"Peace" is when nobody's shooting. A "Just Peace" is when we get what we want. - Bill Mauldin

genuinegirly

Now that's silly!

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

echo5delta

Ok, girly... maybe this will do you a bit better:

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a Local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, Miss," the Sergeant Major said, "I'm just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, I've seen a bit of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you, um... got, er... laid?"

The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955."

She said, "Well, there it is! You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. In a seriously diligent and somewhat deviant manner.

Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

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"Peace" is when nobody's shooting. A "Just Peace" is when we get what we want. - Bill Mauldin

smoore

One of my favorite jokes of all time.

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smoore

SirLance

Enjoyed both! Thanks!

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

vanblah

Funny, but would a Marine really call it "making love?"

Plan9

HAHAHA... SGMs are required by regulation to be wise and crusty.

...

My old SGM was jumpmaster on a C130 jump in 100+ degree summer heat. He threw up a quart into a puke sack, tied it off, tossed it out the door, and exited the jumpers without missing a beat.

Absolute badass.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."