levite

A venerable classic:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, followed by brandy and cigars, they retire for the night.

Some hours later, Watson finds himself nudged into wakefulness by his friend. “Watson, look up, and tell me what you see.”

“I see thousands upon thousands of stars, Holmes” Watson says, sleepily.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are worlds beyond count, and outer space is vast and limitless. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes sighs, resignedly.

“Watson, you damned fool.” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Daniel_

Sherlock and John (Watson) get frisky one night, but try as they might, John can't get himself into Sherlie's special place.

They've tried oil.

They've tried spit.

They've tried butter.

Nothing works.

Eventually, Sherlock says - "Take a lemon, cut it in half, and use the end of your old fella as a juicer, John".

Dr W is sceptical, but tries it anyway.

Slick as you like, John is soon buried balls deep up Holmes' backside.

"How did you know it would work, Holmes?" asked Dr Watson in his post coital glow.

"Lemon entry, my dear Watson, lemon entry".

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

The_Jazz

Daniel_, I take back everything I said in your "happy birthday" thread. That one actually hurt to read.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo