uncle phil

The Detroit Red Wings foreign scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play hockey in the new American - sponsored league, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to the US .

Ken Holland signs him to a one year contract and the kid joins the team for the preseason.

Two weeks later the Wings are down 4-0 to the Blackhawks with only 10 minutes left. Mike Babcock gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is a sensation - scores 5 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the Wings! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the ice he phones his mom to tell her about his first day of NHL hockey. 'Hello mom, guess what?' he says in an Iraq accent. 'I played for 10 minutes today, we were down 4-0, but I scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'

'Wonderful,' says his mom. 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed; your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten; and your brother has joined a gang of looters,
; and all while you were having such great time.'

The young Iraqi is very upset. 'What can I say mom, but I'm so sorry.'

'Sorry? You're Sorry?' says his mom, 'It's your fault we moved to Detroit in the first place!'

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

SSJTWIZTA

ohh man.

i should have seen that one coming.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

thespian86

funny

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

grumpyolddude

Ya gotta be tough to survive here in motown!

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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

MuadDib

I love that joke. I learned it with the Lions and the Super Bowl but the effect is the same.

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"The courts that first rode the warhorse of virtual representation into battle on the res judicata front invested their steed with near-magical properties." ~27 F.3d 751

Bees

More fodder for all Detroit bashers from Forbes' inaugural list of America's Most Miserable Cities:



Rank No. 1
Detroit, Mich.

Commute times 80
Income tax rates 87
Superfund sites 135
Unemployment 149
Violent crimes 150
Weather 95

Misery Measure 696

Motown is the worst in the country when it comes to violent crime, with an annual rate of 1,251 crimes for every 100,000 residents. Unemployment in the area is below the double-digit rates it hit in the early 1990s, but at 8.5% over the past three years, it is still the second-highest in the country among the 150 largest metro areas.

Ranks are based on the 150 largest metro areas.

Sources: Bert Sperling; Moody's Economy.com; U.S. Census Bureau

You can check out the entire article here:

http://www.forbes.com/2008/01/29/det...miserable.html

Has anyone heard any jokes about my home town of Stockton, CA?

Me neither but they should be coming soon.

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The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu

troit

I figured something like that was coming...

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I've yet to dephile myself...