MuadDib

(This joke is all the funnier if you imagine, or tell, the joke with the thickest of Irish accents)

An Irishman named Gilbert walks into his local pub and sits at the bar. He quickly orders four shots of Jameson and downs them all immediately. The barkeep asks, "Oy, Gilbert! What's gotten yer underpants into a bunch this evenin'." "Argh," Gilbert replies, "Ya see that fence outside there? I built that fence with my own two hands; I cut and finished the wood, nailed it together, placed it and painted it. But does anyone call me Gilbert the fence maker? Nah!"

And with that Gilbert ordered another four shots and immediately downed them as well. "Gilbert," said the barkeep, "There has to be more on your mind then fence making to cause ya to drink like this." To which Gilbert replied, "Argh! Ya see this very bar I'm sitting an' drinkin' at? I built this bar with my own two hands, I chopped the damn trees, fashioned the designs, attached the metal railings, and now I sit an' drink at it. But does anyone call me Gilbert the bar maker? Nah!"

Gilbert quickly called for another round and became extremely drunk. Finally the barkeep says, "Gilbert! It's too late and I'm too old to deal with your bitchin' and moanin'! You'll tell me what yer on about or I'll throw ya out on yer arse!". Gilbert finished his last shot and replied. "Argh, dammit! Ya fuck one goat..."

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Punk.of.Ages

This is one of my all time favorite jokes. I tell it at every party, whether everyone's heard it or not. It gets a laugh every time.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Redlemon

... and they call you Crompsin?

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