true story...serious... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 11-12-2007, 04:37 PM

This happened in a little town, Norris Arm, in Newfoundland, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's absolutely true.

This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a terrible rainstorm, and no cars were on the road. The storm was so strong the guy could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car come toward him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door and only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel!

The car started to move very slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Petrified, he started to pray, begging for his life. He had not come out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the steering wheel.

The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time the car was approaching a curve. Finally, although terrified, the guy managed to open the door and jump out of the spooky car. Without looking back, the guy ran through the storm all the way to the nearest town. Soaking wet exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visibly shaken guy, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots of Screech.

Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybody in the bar about the horrible experience he just went through with the spooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that kept appearing. Everyone in the bar listened in silence and became frightened, listening to this eerie story, hairs stood on end when they realized the guy was telling the truth because he was crying and he definitely was not drunk!

About half an hour later two guys walked into the same bar and one said to the other, 'Lard Tundern Jasus, me son, there's the arsehole who got into the car while we were pushing it!'

xepherys · 11-12-2007, 09:44 PM

heh... hehehe... bwhahahahahahaah! Good one!

troit · 11-13-2007, 12:48 PM

How could you not have noticed - I mean that car had to have been moving at what 2mph...

Martian · 11-13-2007, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troit

How could you not have noticed - I mean that car had to have been moving at what 2mph...

That's the joke.

People from Newfoundland (henceforth referred to as Newfies or Newfs) are stereotypically considered to be more.. earthy, when compared with the rest of the country. Thus we have Newfie jokes, which tend to run in a similar vein as blonde jokes (albeit with a distinct maritime flavour).

The joke contains several Newfie stereotypes; notable the speech and the use of screech, a type of rum popular in Newfoundland that doubles as an excellent engine degreaser.

EDIT for another joke typical of the style:

Quote:

A Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander are involved in a grisly crime and are all sentenced to death. The executioner told them that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.

Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.

The American was afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair.

He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free.

They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.

The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair.

Once again, the chair didn’t work and he was free.

Next it was the Newfoundlander’s turn to pick how he was to be executed.

He said "I'm afraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me".

DEI37 · 11-13-2007, 04:18 PM

Both of those jokes are pretty dang funny. Thanks for the MUCH needed laughs.

QuasiMondo · 11-13-2007, 06:42 PM

*deleted*

11-12-2007, 04:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	true story...serious... This happened in a little town, Norris Arm, in Newfoundland, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's absolutely true. This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a terrible rainstorm, and no cars were on the road. The storm was so strong the guy could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car come toward him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door and only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel! The car started to move very slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Petrified, he started to pray, begging for his life. He had not come out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the steering wheel. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time the car was approaching a curve. Finally, although terrified, the guy managed to open the door and jump out of the spooky car. Without looking back, the guy ran through the storm all the way to the nearest town. Soaking wet exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visibly shaken guy, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots of Screech. Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybody in the bar about the horrible experience he just went through with the spooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that kept appearing. Everyone in the bar listened in silence and became frightened, listening to this eerie story, hairs stood on end when they realized the guy was telling the truth because he was crying and he definitely was not drunk! About half an hour later two guys walked into the same bar and one said to the other, 'Lard Tundern Jasus, me son, there's the arsehole who got into the car while we were pushing it!' __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-12-2007, 09:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	heh... hehehe... bwhahahahahahaah! Good one! __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage

11-13-2007, 12:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	How could you not have noticed - I mean that car had to have been moving at what 2mph... __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

11-13-2007, 04:18 PM	#5 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Both of those jokes are pretty dang funny. Thanks for the MUCH needed laughs. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

11-13-2007, 06:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
QuasiMondo Wise-ass Latino Location: Pretoria (Tshwane), RSA	deleted __________________ Cameron originally envisioned the Terminator as a small, unremarkable man, giving it the ability to blend in more easily. As a result, his first choice for the part was Lance Henriksen. O. J. Simpson was on the shortlist but Cameron did not think that such a nice guy could be a ruthless killer. -From the Collector's Edition DVD of The Terminator Last edited by QuasiMondo; 11-13-2007 at 06:54 PM.. Reason: Posted in Wrong place