Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-18-2003, 10:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
cchris's Avatar
 
Location: Sydney
A Woman and her parrot

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her beautiful African Grey parrot.
"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll
agree,and it's an absolute steal at only $20."
"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well," replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and
as a result its language is a touch fruity!"

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot."

So she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "F**k me, a new brothel and a new madam!"

"I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

"A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

"Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes,"
complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have at laugh at their new pet
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home.

"Well f**k me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients.

How ya doin', Dave?"
__________________
There's a fine line between participation and mockery
cchris is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 05:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
Rookie
 
cliche's Avatar
 
Location: Oxford, UK
__________________
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. -- John Cage (1912 - 1992)
cliche is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 06:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
Custom title.
 
Location: Denmark.
Ouch
__________________
Signature 101
-Anders is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 07:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
Crazy
 
dun dun dun.
jukaman is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 08:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
Brewmaniac's Avatar
 
Pack your bags dave! Great joke! Thanks
__________________
"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
Brewmaniac is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 03:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
Banned
 
Looks like Dave is going to know really well what the doghouse looks like, hehe
LittleOralAnnie is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 05:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
DEI37's Avatar
 
Location: Wisconsin
Busted!!!
__________________
Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.
DEI37 is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 06:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
Insane
 
nofnway's Avatar
 
Location: under the freeway bridge
thanks for that
__________________
"Iron rusts with disuse, stagnant water loses its purity and in cold water freezes. Even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind"
Leonardo Da Vinci
nofnway is offline  
Old 07-07-2003, 04:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
Loser
 
Poor Dave.
morlock is offline  
Old 07-07-2003, 05:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
Junkie
 
gov135's Avatar
 
Location: Midwest
I'd rather think that Dave likes getting the attention from the bird. Sounds like he hasn't been getting any attention at home...

Thanks for the joke.
gov135 is offline  
Old 07-07-2003, 10:14 PM   #11 (permalink)
Über-Rookie
 
Location: No longer, D.C
hehe, the joke is rough, but i think gov135's observation is rougher*grin*
__________________
"All that we can do is just survive.
.All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush
oblar is offline  
Old 07-08-2003, 06:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
Addict
 
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Location: Illinois

I feel sorry for Dave. That was really funny. Thanks
Amethyst is offline  
Old 07-08-2003, 09:23 PM   #13 (permalink)
Upright
 
Thanks for that post. . . hillarious
gringuito99 is offline  
Old 07-09-2003, 05:03 AM   #14 (permalink)
Squid
 
MikeyChalupa's Avatar
 
Location: USS George Washington
Well it's like Confucius said... Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

-Mikey
MikeyChalupa is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 07:43 AM   #15 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Hahahah nice touch
__________________
Just because you paranoid.don't mean they're not after you...- Kurt Cobain-Chopper Read
Project Dolphin: Join the TFP Typing Team!
Soda_BoB is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 04:41 AM   #16 (permalink)
seeker
 
Location: home
Time for Dave to start choking the chi........Urm... parrot!
__________________
All ideas in this communication are sole property of the voices in my head. (C) 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009
"The Voices" (TM). All rights reserved.
alpha phi is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 04:46 AM   #17 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: SW NEW HAMPSHIRE
good one . i'm going to call my sister in law right now and share it too funny
izzzzy is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 08:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Classical. Good luck Dave. :-p
__________________
Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition
TerresqueÜ is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 08:58 PM   #19 (permalink)
Registered User
 
damn that was good
PoteMatic is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 09:45 PM   #20 (permalink)
Crazy
 
haha, poor fella.
microdot is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 07:35 AM   #21 (permalink)
Insane
 
haha, funny
rundmv is offline  
Old 07-15-2003, 08:30 PM   #22 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero
Imagine being ratted out by a parrot!! SQWACK!!


Glad
__________________
I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!
Glad-I-Ate-Her is offline  
Old 07-16-2003, 03:44 PM   #23 (permalink)
Insane
 
dope! haha
Gnzo is offline  
Old 07-17-2003, 11:12 AM   #24 (permalink)
absolute relativist
 
clifclav's Avatar
 
Location: D.C.
Very Clever One. Thanks
__________________
Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer!
clifclav is offline  
Old 07-17-2003, 08:54 PM   #25 (permalink)
Addict
 
I first heard this joke from my grandmother, I sure do miss her!
yakimushi is offline  
Old 07-19-2003, 01:11 AM   #26 (permalink)
Devils Cabana Boy
 
Dilbert1234567's Avatar
 
Location: Central Coast CA
thats great i will never buy a parot again
__________________
Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen
Dilbert1234567 is offline  
 

Tags
parrot, woman

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:32 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360