A Woman and her parrot - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

cchris · 06-18-2003, 10:12 PM

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her beautiful African Grey parrot.
"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll
agree,and it's an absolute steal at only $20."
"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well," replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and
as a result its language is a touch fruity!"

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot."

So she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "F**k me, a new brothel and a new madam!"

"I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

"A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

"Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes,"
complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have at laugh at their new pet
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home.

"Well f**k me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients.

How ya doin', Dave?"

cliche · 07-06-2003, 05:04 AM

-Anders · 07-06-2003, 06:40 AM

Ouch

jukaman · 07-06-2003, 07:20 AM

dun dun dun.

Brewmaniac · 07-06-2003, 08:30 AM

Pack your bags dave! Great joke! Thanks

LittleOralAnnie · 07-06-2003, 03:12 PM

Looks like Dave is going to know really well what the doghouse looks like, hehe

DEI37 · 07-06-2003, 05:23 PM

Busted!!!

nofnway · 07-06-2003, 06:07 PM

thanks for that

morlock · 07-07-2003, 04:44 PM

Poor Dave.

gov135 · 07-07-2003, 05:56 PM

I'd rather think that Dave likes getting the attention from the bird. Sounds like he hasn't been getting any attention at home...

Thanks for the joke.

oblar · 07-07-2003, 10:14 PM

hehe, the joke is rough, but i think gov135's observation is rougher*grin*

Amethyst · 07-08-2003, 06:01 PM

I feel sorry for Dave. That was really funny. Thanks

gringuito99 · 07-08-2003, 09:23 PM

Thanks for that post. . . hillarious

MikeyChalupa · 07-09-2003, 05:03 AM

Well it's like Confucius said... Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

-Mikey

Soda_BoB · 07-12-2003, 07:43 AM

Hahahah nice touch

alpha phi · 07-13-2003, 04:41 AM

Time for Dave to start choking the chi........Urm... parrot!

izzzzy · 07-13-2003, 04:46 AM

good one . i'm going to call my sister in law right now and share it too funny

TerresqueÜ · 07-13-2003, 08:29 PM

Classical. Good luck Dave. :-p

PoteMatic · 07-13-2003, 08:58 PM

damn that was good

microdot · 07-13-2003, 09:45 PM

haha, poor fella.

rundmv · 07-14-2003, 07:35 AM

haha, funny

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 07-15-2003, 08:30 PM

Imagine being ratted out by a parrot!! SQWACK!!

Glad

Gnzo · 07-16-2003, 03:44 PM

dope! haha

clifclav · 07-17-2003, 11:12 AM

Very Clever One. Thanks

yakimushi · 07-17-2003, 08:54 PM

I first heard this joke from my grandmother, I sure do miss her!

Dilbert1234567 · 07-19-2003, 01:11 AM

thats great i will never buy a parot again

06-18-2003, 10:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	A Woman and her parrot A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her beautiful African Grey parrot. "What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree,and it's an absolute steal at only $20." "Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks. "Well," replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity!" "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot." So she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "Fk me, a new brothel and a new madam!" "I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly. A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes," complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have at laugh at their new pet A short while later, the woman's husband comes home. "Well fk me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin', Dave?" __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

07-06-2003, 05:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
cliche Rookie Location: Oxford, UK	__________________ I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. -- John Cage (1912 - 1992)

07-06-2003, 06:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
-Anders Custom title. Location: Denmark.	Ouch __________________ Signature 101

07-06-2003, 08:30 AM	#5 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Pack your bags dave! Great joke! Thanks __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

07-06-2003, 05:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Busted!!! __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

07-06-2003, 07:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
jukaman Crazy	dun dun dun.

07-06-2003, 03:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
LittleOralAnnie Banned	Looks like Dave is going to know really well what the doghouse looks like, hehe

07-06-2003, 06:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
nofnway Insane Location: under the freeway bridge	thanks for that __________________ "Iron rusts with disuse, stagnant water loses its purity and in cold water freezes. Even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind" Leonardo Da Vinci

07-07-2003, 04:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
morlock Loser	Poor Dave.

07-07-2003, 05:56 PM	#10 (permalink)
gov135 Junkie Location: Midwest	I'd rather think that Dave likes getting the attention from the bird. Sounds like he hasn't been getting any attention at home... Thanks for the joke.

07-07-2003, 10:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	hehe, the joke is rough, but i think gov135's observation is roughergrin __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

07-08-2003, 06:01 PM	#12 (permalink)
Amethyst Addict Location: Illinois	I feel sorry for Dave. That was really funny. Thanks

07-08-2003, 09:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
gringuito99 Upright	Thanks for that post. . . hillarious

07-09-2003, 05:03 AM	#14 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Well it's like Confucius said... Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. -Mikey

07-12-2003, 07:43 AM	#15 (permalink)
Soda_BoB Psycho	Hahahah nice touch __________________ Just because you paranoid.don't mean they're not after you...- Kurt Cobain-Chopper Read Project Dolphin: Join the TFP Typing Team!

07-13-2003, 04:41 AM	#16 (permalink)
alpha phi seeker Location: home	Time for Dave to start choking the chi........Urm... parrot! __________________ All ideas in this communication are sole property of the voices in my head. (C) 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 "The Voices" (TM). All rights reserved.

07-13-2003, 08:29 PM	#18 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Classical. Good luck Dave. :-p __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-13-2003, 08:58 PM	#19 (permalink)
PoteMatic Registered User	damn that was good

07-14-2003, 07:35 AM	#21 (permalink)
rundmv Insane	haha, funny

07-13-2003, 04:46 AM	#17 (permalink)
izzzzy Crazy Location: SW NEW HAMPSHIRE	good one . i'm going to call my sister in law right now and share it too funny

07-13-2003, 09:45 PM	#20 (permalink)
microdot Crazy	haha, poor fella.

07-15-2003, 08:30 PM	#22 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	Imagine being ratted out by a parrot!! SQWACK!! Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

07-16-2003, 03:44 PM	#23 (permalink)
Gnzo Insane	dope! haha

07-17-2003, 11:12 AM	#24 (permalink)
clifclav absolute relativist Location: D.C.	Very Clever One. Thanks __________________ Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer!

07-17-2003, 08:54 PM	#25 (permalink)
yakimushi Addict	I first heard this joke from my grandmother, I sure do miss her!

07-19-2003, 01:11 AM	#26 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	thats great i will never buy a parot again __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen