QuasiMondo

Team owner Jeffery Lurie had put together the perfect team for the Philadelphia Eagles.
The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the Colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl victory.

One night while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan soldier with a truly incredible arm.

He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away; then he threw another from 50 yards down a chimney; finally hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour.

"I've got to get this guy!" Lurie said to himself "He has the perfect arm!"

He brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great game of football ...sure enough the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says, "You deserted us. You are not my son."

"Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!"

"No! Let me tell you," his mother retorts, "At this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.
Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady starts sobbing, then tearfully says, "For as long as I live, I will never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!"

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Cameron originally envisioned the Terminator as a small, unremarkable man, giving it the ability to blend in more easily. As a result, his first choice for the part was Lance Henriksen. O. J. Simpson was on the shortlist but Cameron did not think that such a nice guy could be a ruthless killer.

-From the Collector's Edition DVD of The Terminator

guthmund

HA!

Nice.

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No signature. None. Seriously.

Infinite_Loser

That is so wrong

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

intellijence

Haha that was a good one...this was the funniest part, imo

Brewmaniac

When I heard a while back it was Detroit.

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

cypher

Made me smile.

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The Man, The Myth, The Legend