Things I want to say to my boss - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

tripp · 06-15-2003, 12:23 AM

I work in a small office, and work has been slow latly. I came up with these one day while bored.

- Do you even know what a megabyte is?

- Sir, sometimes you need to let function win out over form.

- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday.

- I know I'm not wearing pants today. It's the only way I can feel like I have some freedom around here.

- You know when you are talking about how great your dinner was last night, and I smile? I'm thinking of you choking during that meal.

- Thanks for the gift from your rescent trip! It totally makes up for the fact that you pay me so little I can't go on vacation!

- The only reason I'm listening to this story about your BMW is that I'm on the clock right now.

- If you're going to talk at work, I should be aloud to drink here.

- Why can't I question your authority?

DEI37 · 06-15-2003, 04:18 AM

Yeah...I understand that! I think the one I like best is the dinner one.

icy_ca · 06-16-2003, 07:56 AM

Substitute golf for BMW and I'm there.

viveleroi0 · 06-16-2003, 05:25 PM

- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday.

awesome

txgirl · 06-17-2003, 07:16 AM

love those!

snowace56 · 06-17-2003, 11:10 AM

- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday.

I know that feeling...**shiver** Almost makes me want to say it.

jwoody · 06-18-2003, 05:29 AM

My 65yr old boss is new to computers. As I write this he is currently (on my advice) cropping 100 or so digital photos, one at a time, so he can e-mail them to himself at home.

I could tell him just to take his camera home with him, but where's the fun in that?

Charlatan · 06-18-2003, 05:49 AM

ummm maybe you should actually go to business school BEFORE you bankrupt the company... moron.

miked10270 · 06-18-2003, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by viveleroi0
- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday.

awesome

Yeah... Perfect. That's getting printed out good & big and is replacing my name on my in tray

Mike.

crackpot · 06-18-2003, 10:22 AM

Pretty darned fuuny- just remember to keep those thoughts in your head, at least until you've found a new job. Then whip 'em out! Thanks for the post.

clavus · 06-18-2003, 05:13 PM

Whenever I hand my boss a fax (the fax machine is in MY office) he asks "What is this?"

I've begun answering with totally random bullshit -
"Your horiscope, silly Libra"
"The Magna Charta"
"War and Peace - the really really condensed version"
"Paper airplane kit"

I don't think he's noticed yet.

JStrider · 06-18-2003, 05:33 PM

you should anonymously start posting one of those every day somewhere where its seen by people...

boredjerk · 06-20-2003, 11:40 PM

if my boss was convulsing in the street i'd kick him in the face. unless i was driving. then i'd run over his head. nobody would care.

06-15-2003, 12:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
tripp Upright	Things I want to say to my boss I work in a small office, and work has been slow latly. I came up with these one day while bored. - Do you even know what a megabyte is? - Sir, sometimes you need to let function win out over form. - I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday. - I know I'm not wearing pants today. It's the only way I can feel like I have some freedom around here. - You know when you are talking about how great your dinner was last night, and I smile? I'm thinking of you choking during that meal. - Thanks for the gift from your rescent trip! It totally makes up for the fact that you pay me so little I can't go on vacation! - The only reason I'm listening to this story about your BMW is that I'm on the clock right now. - If you're going to talk at work, I should be aloud to drink here. - Why can't I question your authority?

06-15-2003, 04:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Yeah...I understand that! I think the one I like best is the dinner one. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

06-16-2003, 07:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
icy_ca Insane Location: Steel Town, Ontario	Substitute golf for BMW and I'm there. __________________ After all is said and done, more is said than done.

06-16-2003, 05:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
viveleroi0 Psycho Location: Oregon	- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday. awesome __________________ "It's not that I don't understand, it's that I don't care" - Homer Simpson

06-18-2003, 05:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
jwoody Shackle Me Not Location: Newcastle - England.	My 65yr old boss is new to computers. As I write this he is currently (on my advice) cropping 100 or so digital photos, one at a time, so he can e-mail them to himself at home. I could tell him just to take his camera home with him, but where's the fun in that? __________________ .

06-17-2003, 07:16 AM	#5 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	love those!

06-17-2003, 11:10 AM	#6 (permalink)
snowace56 Loser Location: Bakersfield...The rest stop town	- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday. I know that feeling...shiver Almost makes me want to say it.

06-18-2003, 05:49 AM	#8 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	ummm maybe you should actually go to business school BEFORE you bankrupt the company... moron. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

06-18-2003, 10:22 AM	#10 (permalink)
crackpot Junkie Location: Montreal	Pretty darned fuuny- just remember to keep those thoughts in your head, at least until you've found a new job. Then whip 'em out! Thanks for the post.

06-18-2003, 05:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	Whenever I hand my boss a fax (the fax machine is in MY office) he asks "What is this?" I've begun answering with totally random bullshit - "Your horiscope, silly Libra" "The Magna Charta" "War and Peace - the really really condensed version" "Paper airplane kit" I don't think he's noticed yet. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

06-18-2003, 05:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	you should anonymously start posting one of those every day somewhere where its seen by people... __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

06-20-2003, 11:40 PM	#13 (permalink)
boredjerk Insane Location: Antarctica	if my boss was convulsing in the street i'd kick him in the face. unless i was driving. then i'd run over his head. nobody would care. __________________ Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.