Spoons - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

rockogre · 06-11-2003, 08:40 AM

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed
that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and
utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen
Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis,

they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped
utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per

table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the
number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to
replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the
kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of
the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the
same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the
waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so
observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that
we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know
what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash
our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39
percent."

"After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use
the spoon."

clifclav · 06-11-2003, 10:17 AM

very funny one. thanks

pilot123 · 06-11-2003, 02:07 PM

that is the funniest thing I have heard in a while, fuckin great joke.

Brewmaniac · 06-11-2003, 02:18 PM

Good one! Thanks

Flesh · 06-11-2003, 02:44 PM

hahaha

ratbastid · 06-11-2003, 06:01 PM

Blaaa ha ha!!!!

I've got some consultant friends who <i>have</i> to hear that one RIGHT FRIGGING NOW.

jwoody · 06-12-2003, 04:12 AM

Vey good, consultants suck.

Correction: Consulting sucks. I'm sure they're good people at heart, just making a living like the rest of us.

blkdmnd · 06-12-2003, 09:35 AM

hilarious

bravo49 · 06-12-2003, 09:52 AM

funny, very funny

Abst|2act · 06-12-2003, 10:02 AM

Nice one

opentocomments · 06-12-2003, 12:38 PM

eew hope he didnt drop my spoon i used that to poke my badger

txgirl · 06-12-2003, 01:04 PM

Very good!

4thTimeLucky · 06-13-2003, 11:06 AM

my consultant friends will be hearing that one.

cchris · 06-14-2003, 02:25 AM

Loved that one

06-11-2003, 08:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	Spoons Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift." As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?" "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent." "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon." __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

06-11-2003, 10:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
clifclav absolute relativist Location: D.C.	very funny one. thanks __________________ Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer!

06-11-2003, 02:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Good one! Thanks __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

06-12-2003, 04:12 AM	#7 (permalink)
jwoody Shackle Me Not Location: Newcastle - England.	Vey good, consultants suck. Correction: Consulting sucks. I'm sure they're good people at heart, just making a living like the rest of us. __________________ .

06-12-2003, 09:35 AM	#8 (permalink)
blkdmnd Addict	hilarious __________________ I blow my nose at you. Now go away before I taunt you a second time.

06-11-2003, 02:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
pilot123 Tilted	that is the funniest thing I have heard in a while, fuckin great joke.

06-11-2003, 06:01 PM	#6 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Blaaa ha ha!!!! I've got some consultant friends who <i>have</i> to hear that one RIGHT FRIGGING NOW.

06-12-2003, 09:52 AM	#9 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	funny, very funny

06-12-2003, 10:02 AM	#10 (permalink)
Abst\|2act Upright Location: NC	Nice one __________________ Free The West Memphis Three

06-12-2003, 12:38 PM	#11 (permalink)
opentocomments Psycho Location: St. Louis	eew hope he didnt drop my spoon i used that to poke my badger __________________ How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

06-12-2003, 01:04 PM	#12 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	Very good!

06-13-2003, 11:06 AM	#13 (permalink)
4thTimeLucky Psycho Location: 4th has left the building - goodbye folks	my consultant friends will be hearing that one. __________________ I've been 4thTimeLucky, you've been great. Goodnight and God bless!

06-14-2003, 02:25 AM	#14 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Loved that one __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery