How To Guarantee Yourself A Ticket
 

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until 6 feet wide".

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Oh how I wish I had the balls to try this out the next time I get pulled over.

hahahahahahaha cuz he's an asshole for catching her breaking the law!

oh wait.

This is funny because I had a friend who's siter actually met and dated a cop who had pulled her over. She was evidently speeding, and when he pulled her over and asked why she was speeding, she told him that she was too nervous to approach him directly, so if she got him to pull her over it would give her an excuse to talk to him and ask him out. she got out of a ticket, and wound up dating the guy for a while. pretty funny i think.