LoganSnake

Friday was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant
and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to
breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock,
when Jane
knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"

I responded,
"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok," I
nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed by my wife, my kids,
and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy
Birthday.

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Dilbert1234567

oops... hehe

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"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

vanblah

Seems rather unfair to fire the secretary after he's the one who made the indiscretion.

null_duality

least he wasn't wearing a blindfold and leather chaps....

bermuDa

Saw it coming, but still hilarious!

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I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

amandachenee

Haha. That's funny. Heard it before, but still funny!

__________________
I am whole without you, but I would rather be only half and be with you.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
~Anonymous

Charlatan

I read this in a Dear Abby column when I was a kid. The main difference was that in that version he was wearing socks. I always thought that was a funny detail and it made the punchline punchier.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Jetée

So would you propose that the punchline be altered slightly to a degree such as this:

How do you like it? Think you can do better Charlie?

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

Charlatan

There were other details too... such as the secretary saying, "Let me go slip into something more comfortable." A cliche line to be sure but it's code for, you are going to get sex when I come back either naked or in some lingerie.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

nrclark

WHY DISECT? ... THAT WAS FUNNY AS HELL THE WAY IT WAS TOLD ... GOOD ONE LOGAN ... "VANBLAH", ARE YOU FRIGGIN SERIOUS????