nrclark

The world's worst orchestra director was preparing his new group for their first concert. Halfway through the first movement, as he conducted with wild abandon, his baton flew out of his hand and impaled itself in the eye of a flute player, killing her instantly.

The police investigated, but ruled her death an accident.

At the next rehearsal, he got caught up in the music again, lost his baton again, and this time struck the bassoon player in the eye, killing him instantly.

The police investigated, but again ruled the death an accident.

At the third rehearsal, the same thing happened, this time to a violinist.

The police could not believe that such an odd thing could happen three times in a row accidentally, so they arrested the conductor. He was tried for triple homicide and sentenced to death.

After all his appeals proved fruitless, the warden strapped him in the electric chair and the officer in charge threw the giant electrical switch.

But nothing happened.

He turned it off and then back on again, but still nothing.

The exasperated warden yelled at the officer, "What are you doing wrong?"

The officer retorted, "Hey, don't blame me. Everyone knows he's a poor conductor!"

LoganSnake

I think my chemistry professor would love that one.

As for me....the title says it all.

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Charlatan

I like it. Very clever.

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Ch'i

That's a good one.

SirLance

Sometimes the groaners are the best! THat was funny! I am warped...

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Brewmaniac

Great joke! Like Charlatan said,

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Daniel_

Fantastic.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
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Pip

Love it. Those li'l pointy things are dangerous. Did you know the baroque composer Jean-Baptiste Lully was accidentally killed by his own baton?

HLP

I like it alot! Ill add this to my list of jokes I tell at bars!

Mauser

Another groaner:

There was this girl who had a really bad day and decided to go to the top of the Empire State Building and drink at the bar. She gets there and its only her, a guy at the bar, and the bartender. She sits down, and the guy asks, "How are you doing?" The girl replies, "pretty bad, I had a horrible day." The guy then says, "well, you know what I do when I have a horrible day? I jump off the ledge and when you get to the 14th floor a wind tunnel takes you back up to the top, when youre done you forget about all that worried you."

She doesnt belive him but he then tells her he will show her after he finisihes his drink. He then jumps off and sure enough gets carred back up to the top. The lady was amazed then tried it. She jumps, gets to the 14th floor but keeps going and smacks into the pavement. The guy goes back into
the bar and the bartender says,"Superman, youre an asshole.

Delvid

More groaners.

Mauser

..ped jokes are not allowed.

please refer to this thread for more information

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=48142

Sharon

Ummm, I thought paedophile jokes weren't allowed?

florida0214

This was definitly a buzz kill safe to tell you middle school science teacher joke.

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batm4n_23

oldie but goodie