Kissing a nun - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

guthmund · 08-06-2006, 01:01 PM

Bob was sitting in his cab getting ready to call it a day when an incredibly attractive nun sat down in his back seat and told him to step on it.

For the entire 15 minute ride, Bob kept sneaking glances back at the sister. She'd make a small adjustment here, straighten something there...Bob was getting excited.

"You know, sister." Bob began. "This may sound a little odd--and forgive me, if I'm outta line---but I've always had this deep seated, erotic urge to...kiss a nun."

"Well," said the sister. "if I have to be perfectly honest, it's not that unusual a request. Pull over into that alley and we will see what we can do."

Bob pulled over, got out of the driver's seat and slid into the backseat with the nun.

"Now, before we begin," the nun said, "there are two questions you have to answer truthfully. God is omniscent. He will know when you're lying and He will extract His payment for your transgressions."

"Sure," Bob said, "I'll answer anything."

"Are you Catholic and are you married?" The sister asked.

"Sure I'm Catholic and I've never been married." Bob answered.

The sister nodded her head and Bob moved in. For 20 minutes they made out like high-schoolers in the back of Bob's beat up taxi parked in a dark alley.

Bob was having a fantastic time; it was everything he imagined it to be, but his conscious had reared its ugly head. "Sister..." Bob said in between kisses, "Sister!" Bob pulled away and bowed his head. "I've a confession to make."

"Yes?" the nun sat patiently.

"I'm not really Catholic." Bob began. "I'm Jewish and I've been married for the last 10 years to a wonderful Jewish girl who gave me 2 beautiful kids."

Bob stared at the floor and awaited his punishment.

"Well, I guess that's okay," the nun said, "because I've kind of got a secret too."

The nun shifted around in the seat a bit and placed a hand on Bob's knee.

"My real name is Kevin." The nun said in a deep baritone. "And I'm on my way to a costume party."

Lady Sage · 08-06-2006, 03:41 PM

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ohhhh I love it! Thats fabulous!

nrclark · 08-07-2006, 05:58 AM

i just threw up ....

Redlemon · 08-07-2006, 06:10 AM

Goes nicely with

Quote:

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

guthmund · 08-08-2006, 04:56 AM

That's great.

And another nun joke goes into the file....

08-06-2006, 01:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	Kissing a nun Bob was sitting in his cab getting ready to call it a day when an incredibly attractive nun sat down in his back seat and told him to step on it. For the entire 15 minute ride, Bob kept sneaking glances back at the sister. She'd make a small adjustment here, straighten something there...Bob was getting excited. "You know, sister." Bob began. "This may sound a little odd--and forgive me, if I'm outta line---but I've always had this deep seated, erotic urge to...kiss a nun." "Well," said the sister. "if I have to be perfectly honest, it's not that unusual a request. Pull over into that alley and we will see what we can do." Bob pulled over, got out of the driver's seat and slid into the backseat with the nun. "Now, before we begin," the nun said, "there are two questions you have to answer truthfully. God is omniscent. He will know when you're lying and He will extract His payment for your transgressions." "Sure," Bob said, "I'll answer anything." "Are you Catholic and are you married?" The sister asked. "Sure I'm Catholic and I've never been married." Bob answered. The sister nodded her head and Bob moved in. For 20 minutes they made out like high-schoolers in the back of Bob's beat up taxi parked in a dark alley. Bob was having a fantastic time; it was everything he imagined it to be, but his conscious had reared its ugly head. "Sister..." Bob said in between kisses, "Sister!" Bob pulled away and bowed his head. "I've a confession to make." "Yes?" the nun sat patiently. "I'm not really Catholic." Bob began. "I'm Jewish and I've been married for the last 10 years to a wonderful Jewish girl who gave me 2 beautiful kids." Bob stared at the floor and awaited his punishment. "Well, I guess that's okay," the nun said, "because I've kind of got a secret too." The nun shifted around in the seat a bit and placed a hand on Bob's knee. "My real name is Kevin." The nun said in a deep baritone. "And I'm on my way to a costume party." __________________ No signature. None. Seriously. Last edited by guthmund; 08-06-2006 at 01:03 PM..

08-08-2006, 04:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	That's great. And another nun joke goes into the file.... __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

08-06-2006, 03:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
Lady Sage Mistress of Mayhem Location: Canton, Ohio	Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ohhhh I love it! Thats fabulous!

08-07-2006, 05:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
nrclark Tilted Location: Canada	i just threw up ....