Memory Enhancement - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

guthmund · 05-26-2006, 08:39 AM

Two elderly gentlemen were sitting around the dinner table catching up over a bottle a beer when the first fellow mentioned he didn't like getting old all that much.

"I got hair growing out of places I don't want; falling out of places I'd like to keep it. Every body part is stiff in the morning except the one thing I'd like to get stiff every once in a while. I get up to pee 6 times a night."

"I know. It's rough" said the second fellow.

"I guess it wouldn't be so bad," said the first guy, "if it was just my body, but lately....I've been forgetting things."

"Oh, I know!" said the second guy. "I got so bad, I had to order one of them memory enhancement tapes off the television."

"Did it work?" asked the first guy.

"Oh, sure! I hardly forget anything important now." replied the second.

"Well, I might want to look into that. Do you happen to remember the name?" said the first.

Well, the second guy sat there for a second, squinted his eyes a bit and thought real hard. He leaned forward, picked up his beer, gave it a thoughtful look and set it back down again. Suddenly the old man's eyes flashed...

"What's the name of that flower...?" he asked.
"Lily? Germanium? Chrysanthemum?" the first man replied.
"No, no, no. It's red...?" he asked.
"Tulip? Hydrangea?" the first man countered.
"No...it's red with thorns sticking all over the place...?" the second guy was getting a bit irritated.
"Oh! A rose!" The first guy said as he slapped his hand down on the table.
"Rose! That's it." the second guy said and with a start he leaned back in his chair and yelled towards the kitchen at his wife..."HEY, ROSE! ROSE!? WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT MEMORY ENHANCEMENT PROGRAM I ORDERED?"

Zyr · 05-29-2006, 03:49 AM

Not sure which came first, but I heard that joke on Dharma and Greg (The old guy's wife is named abbey, so he asks what that place with the nuns is called)

SirLance · 05-29-2006, 02:50 PM

That is absolutely hysterical! Thanks!

05-26-2006, 08:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	Memory Enhancement Two elderly gentlemen were sitting around the dinner table catching up over a bottle a beer when the first fellow mentioned he didn't like getting old all that much. "I got hair growing out of places I don't want; falling out of places I'd like to keep it. Every body part is stiff in the morning except the one thing I'd like to get stiff every once in a while. I get up to pee 6 times a night." "I know. It's rough" said the second fellow. "I guess it wouldn't be so bad," said the first guy, "if it was just my body, but lately....I've been forgetting things." "Oh, I know!" said the second guy. "I got so bad, I had to order one of them memory enhancement tapes off the television." "Did it work?" asked the first guy. "Oh, sure! I hardly forget anything important now." replied the second. "Well, I might want to look into that. Do you happen to remember the name?" said the first. Well, the second guy sat there for a second, squinted his eyes a bit and thought real hard. He leaned forward, picked up his beer, gave it a thoughtful look and set it back down again. Suddenly the old man's eyes flashed... "What's the name of that flower...?" he asked. "Lily? Germanium? Chrysanthemum?" the first man replied. "No, no, no. It's red...?" he asked. "Tulip? Hydrangea?" the first man countered. "No...it's red with thorns sticking all over the place...?" the second guy was getting a bit irritated. "Oh! A rose!" The first guy said as he slapped his hand down on the table. "Rose! That's it." the second guy said and with a start he leaned back in his chair and yelled towards the kitchen at his wife..."HEY, ROSE! ROSE!? WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT MEMORY ENHANCEMENT PROGRAM I ORDERED?" __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

05-29-2006, 03:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
Zyr Crazy Location: Hamilton, NZ	Not sure which came first, but I heard that joke on Dharma and Greg (The old guy's wife is named abbey, so he asks what that place with the nuns is called) __________________ "Oh, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83 when I was the only practitioner of it, and I stopped because I was tired of being stared at." Omnia mutantu, nos et mutamur in illis. All things change, and we change with them. - Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602

05-29-2006, 02:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	That is absolutely hysterical! Thanks! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.