Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-01-2006, 06:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
The Bible Salesman

The minister realized his Church was getting into serious financial trouble. However, while checking the Church storeroom, he discovered dozens cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the Church.

Peter, Paul and Louis all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louis, who was a local farmer who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment -- poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here s the $200 I collected for the Church."

"Fine job, Peter!" the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you." Turning to Paul he said, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles for the Church, and here is the $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That s absolutely splendid, Paul! You are truly a professional salesman and the Church is also indebted to you." Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louis and said, "And Louis, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?"

Louis silently offered the minister a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents.

"What is this!?" the minister exclaimed. "Louis, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the Church, door to door, in just one week?"

Louis just nodded.

"That s impossible!" Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could!"

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louis."

Louis shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don t kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louis, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied," W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks or wo-wo-would yo-you J-j-just l-like m-m-me T-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read It t-to y-y-you?"
__________________
DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.
SirLance is offline  
Old 05-02-2006, 05:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
has been
 
qweds's Avatar
 
Location: Chicago
hahah, oh poor louis
__________________
tim(mah)
qweds is offline  
Old 05-19-2006, 06:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
I want a Plaid crayon
 
Plaid13's Avatar
 
hahaha thats great
Plaid13 is offline  
Old 05-19-2006, 07:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
Extreme moderation
 
Toaster126's Avatar
 
Location: Kansas City, yo.
Disabilities are funny! LOL.
__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
Toaster126 is offline  
Old 05-20-2006, 03:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Bottom of a Bottle
That was awesome!!
__________________
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
DJKDAWG is offline  
 

Tags
bible, salesman


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:26 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62