What the hell was she thinking, asking ME of all people for relationship advice? Was she that desperate?

I convinced her the best way to approach her boyfriend's increasingly chilly attitude was to let him discover her in bed with another girl... sort of the "substitution syndrome"

So she did.

He ran off to Vegas with the other girl last week.

How did she not see that coming? What the hell was she thinking, asking ME of all people for relationship advice? Was she that desperate?

I convinced her the best way to approach her boyfriend's increasingly chilly attitude was to let him discover her in bed with another girl... sort of the "substitution syndrome"

So she did.

He ran off to Vegas with the other girl last week.

How did she not see that coming?

My niece is 14 years younger than me, and when she was under 17 we were really close. We'd joke around and chase each other and all sorts of ridiculous shit.

Tonight I threatened her while she was staying with me that if she didn't calm down I'd put her over my lap and spank her. She's a gorgeous girl.

She got a head start and outdistanced me, so I went back inside and sat down in my chair to watch tv.

She came in and without a single word lay across my lap, facedown.

She looked up at me expectantly.

Who am I to disappoint? I spanked her for half an hour.

I was camped with a friend on the edge of the Salmon-Huckleberry wilderness, on the edge of a huge overgrown clearcut, on the edge of a tiny hidden clearing just large enough for a two-person tent and a cookstove.

Around dusk some teenage retards in daddy's car come roaring up the dirt road, thumpa-chuck-BOOM, spinning cookies, hurling beer cans -- the classic stereotype. After a while they get out, to expedite the opening of coolers with further alcohol, and decide that they're bored, so they take out a load of weaponry and begin shooting wildly into the woods.

It's a remote location, yeah, but it's also an official trailhead. There are horses and riders and women and children passing through here at least once an hour on their way to someone else.

We pop up like jack-in-the-boxes and begin screaming and waving the lantern and yelling.

They shoot directly at us.

We douse the lantern.

They continue shooting.

We remain lying down behind a log for an hour or so until they get bored and leave.

If I had had a revolver in my hand again I would have welcomed whatever logistical, social, and legal consequences incurred.

Sometimes that memory makes me so frustrated I just want to cry.

Instead I rake pine needles.

Here it comes....

Who Posted?
Total Posts: 4,125
User Name Posts
skier 1000


mexicanonabike 959
CSflim 873
NoSoup 602
Ishmal 153
Jeff 98
Carno 72
willravel 68
FailedEagle 50

Yeah ok i'm done for the day

wow! you really went all out skier!

you know who dissapoints me though? it's NoSoup. he hasnt posted in a long time and this is his thread!!

you're right mex, nosoup hasn't been posting much lately. I remember something about him saying he'd be busy. maybe he'll catch up later.

as it stands right now, he's a stepping stone for ambitious new members that want to climb to the top of this thread

you've failed me again oilers :(

My first French kiss ever came when I was 13. She was 13. She had big boobies. She let me feel them over her shirt. It was summer.

I TAKE IT BACK!!! YOU FUCKING ROCK OILERS!

way to comeback for the win

The game ain't over yet, bub. What a messed up crappy set of goals. Sheesh.

And what the hell was Bertuzzi doing chirping with Ryan Smyth, IN FRONT OF the Roloson, while the puck trickled slowly by. PICK UP YOUR #(*&^$*&^ STICK. What a selfish bastard. I'm a Canucks fan, I cheered for this guy for years, but come on, everyone has a limit to their loyalty.

And Naslund scores, Tie game.

Holy sh*t that was close to a goal. dang....

And we... are going... to a shootout...

And Auld injured. Or hurt anyways. bah

Have I mentioned how much I hate Raffi Torres? If he scores in the shootout I'm officially paying 3 dollars, a half can of beer, and an empty can of lemonade for his head. On a pole.

shit I called it too soon

fuck go oilers

Holy crap that was stupid. I agree, it was a goal, but ten farkin minutes?

And it's done! WOOT go Nucks!

I still hate Todd Bertuzzi.

FUCK YOU BERTUZZI YOU WHORE

at least we agree on something

If Vancouver fell into the ocean tomorrow, I would be an Oilers fan. The team, even when losing, has character and sticks to an aggressive, fast pased game. The Canucks have perhaps the most skill in the league, on paper, and yet NO chemistry, NO character, and NO jump.

Bertuzzi has so much raw skill it's scary. Yet he floats around, oblivious to the play, waiting for an errant puck to land on his stick. He's not the same person he was two years ago.

I'm not sure who I hate more, Bertuzzi or Crawford. But I can sleep well knowing ONE of them won't be back next year.

hey skier, how do you get those lowbrow quotes? whats the site address?

The other night, after a party, myself and a few others had a conversation for an hour and a half about what foods would be better deep fried in a layer of batter.

Battered sandwiches, battered pizza, battered chunky kit-kat bars.

It got a bit much when it came to battered battered-women.

That was very much in poor taste.

But if you talk about battered things for an hour and a half on end, battered women are bound to surface I suppose.

Not that that's any excuse.

So let's look at the top five leader-board of longest threads ever:

Word Association... Again - 13561
Moe's Tavern (NSF...well anyone) - 7497
Reveal the previous poster's deepest, darkest secret... - 6822
What are you listening to right now? - 6615
Picture-Linkage! (NSFW - & No pics of children, please) - 4153

Hmmm....interesting, wouldn't you say?

Hey, lets take another quick look:

Word Association... Again - 13561
Moe's Tavern (NSF...well anyone) - 7497
Reveal the previous poster's deepest, darkest secret... - 6822
What are you listening to right now? - 6615
The Longest Thread Ever! - 4154

how do you get that list? pm me if it's a secret. i'd like to find these tools to check. might make me post more if i can beat some other thread. :) :thumbsup:

luckily I've donated and get a year of lowbrow free, but then after that the whole thing is going to get shut down :(

there's a lowbrow.org, but they do a horrible job at weeding out the bad moments and so i'm sad.

Maybe the code for lowbrow.com will go over to lowbrow.org along with the moments and there will be a revival.

oh well thanks for mentioning it! i was browsing the forum and i couldnt find what you were talking about. but it's cool that you posted some good oneS! :thumbsup:

It's a very low-tech method of sorting each board by thread size and making the list manually.